


Beach House

by haiplana



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Beach House, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hatred, High School, Island - Freeform, Love, Romance, Senior Trip, Slow-ish burn, Smut, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 14:01:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6082047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haiplana/pseuds/haiplana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Clarke goes to the Blake’s secluded island beach house with Octavia, Bellamy, Raven, Jasper and Monty as a senior trip. Unfortunately, she finds out that her enemy Lexa is invited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke Griffin wasn’t stupid. She passed every class she took, tried her hardest even when she was struggling, signed up for every AP she could manage and balanced it all with art electives. Her report cards always consisted of A’s. She had nothing to complain about, because she wasn’t stupid.

Only, Lexa Woods was better. Lexa was in every AP class, same as Clarke. Lexa seemed to achieve high A’s with ease. Lexa took music electives, art electives, science electives. Lexa was the president of every club, was the captain of the (championship) tennis team and the (championship) girl’s basketball team. When it came to choosing who was their senior class’ valedictorian, the choice was between Clarke and Lexa. The school chose Lexa.

Clarke couldn’t even pretend like it didn’t bother her. Every time Lexa’s name came up in conversation between her friends, Clarke would begin her usual rant about the girl’s over-achievements. By the end of senior year, Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake, Raven Reyes, Jasper Jordan, and Monty Green could recite it.

“I can’t believe her!” Clarke cried. “I worked my ass off for four years! I did everything I was supposed to, and I still didn’t get any credit!”

“Clarke,” Raven mused, stifling a fake yawn. Octavia rolled her eyes. “You need to chill out. It doesn’t matter that she’s valedictorian. You got into your top school, you won a ton of art contests, and you’re _going_ places.”

“Really, you need to stop worrying about her,” Bellamy said, pushing his shaggy black hair out of his face.

“But, I—”

“Deserved it,” Jasper finished, “we know, Clarke. High school is over now, and you don’t ever have to think about her again.”

“She’s not that bad,” Monty supplied quietly. Clarke glared at him and huffed, and he shrunk away from her gaze.

“Let’s just think about how we’re all going to go to this party, we’re going to get hammered, have fun, maybe get some,” Raven laughed, elbowing Bellamy. Even in the dark, the blush covering his face could be seen.

“I don’t know if Gina is going, Ray,” he muttered.

“And then,” Octavia continued loudly, “we peace out on Monday and head to the beach house.” Cheers rang throughout the group, and soon Clarke’s spirits were lifted. She took a deep breath. The city air was as clogged as ever, and she thought about how she wouldn’t miss it when she went to college.

They finally reached the party, which was in the penthouse that belonged to one of Bellamy’s friends. The space was dark, save for lamps placed in the corners of each room. Upbeat music blared from all sides. Clarke took it in, the hundreds of graduated students crammed into the large penthouse, the smells of alcohol and weed and sweat. She could already spot a couple making out by a potted plant. Strange kids that Clarke had (somehow) never met approached them, greeting Bellamy and Jasper. Already, Clarke was feeling out of place, and the only thing that could settle her stomach was alcohol.

“Let’s go get a drink,” she said in Raven’s ear, and the girl nodded before tapping Octavia and motioning for her to follow. They found their way into the kitchen, miraculously without incident, and Clarke surveyed the selection of alcohol set on the counter. Deciding on vodka and orange juice, she pulled the carton out of the refrigerator and filled a red cup. Raven watched as Clarke then filled the cup with just a little more vodka than was needed.

“Hey,” Raven whispered, “are you okay?” Clarke only nodded, taking as large a sip as she could handle. Raven eyed her again, but shrugged. “If your anxiety starts acting up, just come find me.” With that, Raven went out into the party, and Clarke was left with Octavia.

“Come on, Clarke,” Octavia said. “We need to find some boys.”

After searching for twenty minutes, Octavia had gone off with Lincoln, the star receiver of their football team, and Clarke had found no one. She looked to her right, noticing a slender frame adorned with wavy brown hair. The girl had long, tanned legs that ended in a pair of black converse. And her hands, so delicate as they held a red cup. The girl shifted, and Clarke was hoping to get a glimpse of her face until— _Oh, no, no, no_.

Lexa Woods had a slight smile on her face as she nodded to something Monty was saying. Clarke wasn’t sure what she was more perturbed about—the fact that Monty was unabashedly talking to Lexa, or that she was unabashedly checking Lexa out. Her stomach roiled, and she took another sip of her (second) drink. Soon, her mind relaxed, but she couldn’t shake the strange feeling that had come over her.

“Hey, Clarke,” a voice said behind her. She turned, only to find Wells Jaha smiling at her. Clarke tried to hide her grimace, but she knew she had failed.

“What’s up, Wells?” she asked, painting on a smile.

“Not much is going on, really. Just a lot of preparing for college, work, getting my life together, you know, the usual thing.” Clarke was already bored with Wells and his overly complicated answers and his talk of all things business. It wasn’t fair to think that, she knew, but the sight of Lexa had ruined her mood. “So, where are you going to college?”

“Duke University,” she replied. Wells nodded excitedly.

“North Carolina, that’s cool. What made you want to go there?” Wells inquired. He took a small sip of his drink, the one he carried for show, no doubt.

“I’m not sure. I’ve only visited it a few times, but I think it’s really beautiful.” Clarke let her gaze wander, and Wells went on to talk about how he couldn’t decide between Princeton and Stanford, and somehow he ended up choosing Yale. Clarke was perfectly content with never speaking to Wells again, no matter which Ivy League school he attended.

Clarke thought about Lexa, wondered which Ivy League school the girl must have gotten in to. Lexa probably had to choose between all of them. What school wouldn’t want miss perfect? Miss president-of-every-club, miss captain-of-every-team, miss valedictorian, miss delicate-fingers-and-beautiful-hair…

“Clarke.” Some time around three and a half drinks, Clarke had made her way over to the black leather couch. She thought she had made out with a guy from her AP history class, but she wasn’t sure. “Clarke,” Jasper said, and Clarke spotted him through the haze of her mind. “We’re leaving Clarke. Come on.” Jasper hoisted her off the couch, and he caught her before she fell over.

“I’m so tired, Jasp,” Clarke slurred in her friend’s ear. “Why don’t we stay out all night?”

“Because,” he answered simply. Clarke seemed content with his reply and leaned on him as they left the penthouse and met with their group. Octavia’s lipstick was a bit smudged, and Raven’s shirt was draped loosely over her frame, but they all seemed better than Clarke. Gina was even accompanying them. It looked like they’d had a much better night than the blonde.

“Let’s go,” Raven whispered, helping Jasper with Clarke. They called two cabs and piled in, setting course for Monty’s apartment. Clarke fell asleep on the way, and she didn’t wake up until noon the next day.

 

“Clarke! You’re going to make your friends late!” Abby Griffin called from the kitchen. Clarke was in her room making last minute additions to her suitcase.

“I’ll be right there,” she half-yelled. With her two big rollaways and her backpack in tow, she left her room and spotted Bellamy and Jasper, grins on their faces.

“Did you bring your entire wardrobe?” Bellamy asked.

“Did you bring your entire life?” Jasper joked. Clarke glared at the two and strode past them, letting the boys handle her things.

“I’ll see you in two months, Mom,” Clarke said, kissing her mother’s cheek.

“I love you, honey,” Abby whispered. Slinging the straps of the backpack over her shoulders, Clarke followed Jasper and Bellamy into the elevator. They rode it to the bottom floor and exited the building, finding two large SUVs.

“One is for the luggage, and one is for us,” Bellamy explained. Clarke nodded and climbed into the first one, where she could already see Raven, Octavia, and Monty. She angled herself into the seat next to Monty and swiveled so that she could face all three of them.

“Who is ready to party at the beach?” she exclaimed. Raven and Octavia threw up their hands, cheering, and Monty smiled. Bellamy and Jasper took up their places in the front seats, and Bellamy put the key in the ignition. They drove off, working their way through the city streets. The traffic was low, as it was five in the morning. Their trip would take seven hours, so they chose to leave early and get to the Blake’s beach house at a reasonable time, even if that meant waking up at an ungodly hour. Clarke checked her watch and grimaced.

“I can’t wait to swim, tan, party,” Raven said. The girl’s excitement was too much for five-thirty in the morning, but it made Clarke smile.

“This is really going to be great,” Clarke said, “just the six of us, living life in luxury and peace.” The car fell silent, as if all the air had been sucked from the interior. Clarke looked around at stoic faces, and her heart dropped. “What?”

“Well,” Octavia drawled, “it won’t be just the six of us.” Clarke narrowed her eyes, and Monty shrunk away just a bit.

“Lexa’s coming,” Jasper said quietly.

“Are you kidding me? Please, please tell me you’re kidding.” Clarke’s eyes were panicked as she searched her friends’ faces. They were dead serious, emphasis on the dead if Clarke had her way. Clarke zeroed in on Monty, and the boy cowered even more.

“It wasn’t just my idea, okay?” he said, putting his hands up defensively. “They all wanted her to come, too.”

“I can’t believe you guys are doing this to me,” Clarke grumbled.

“Do you want to go back home?” Bellamy asked.

“No,” the blonde sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Maybe you won’t hate her by the end of summer,” Bellamy suggested. Clarke only rolled her eyes.

“Hate _does_ turn to love,” Octavia cooed. A mischievous smirk grew on the girl’s lips, and Clarke stuck up her middle finger. But, the word love brought back some interesting, albeit hazy, memories of the party. Visions of Lexa with her long legs and hair flashed before Clarke’s eyes, and she took an unsteady breath, feeling an odd flutter in her stomach. She looked out the window, hoping for a reprieve, but it only made things worse. Lexa stood on a street corner outside of a red brick building, bags at her side. She was wearing light wash cutoff jean shorts that made her legs look extra tan, and a white t-shirt that fit her just right. A light blue flannel was tied around her waist. Clarke’s mouth was agape at the sight of her enemy looking absolutely _stunning_.

“Close your mouth, Clarke,” Raven snickered. Clarke was shaken out of her trance just as the door opened, and Lexa climbed inside.

“Hey guys,” Lexa greeted, a small smile on her lips. The others greeted her warmly, but Clarke only nodded. Raven not-so-subtly flicked her in the back of the head.

“Are you staying with us the whole time?” Clarke asked, trying her best to keep the hope out of her voice.

“That’s the plan,” Lexa replied cooly. Clarke forced a smile as best she could and turned back to the window. By then, they had begun their drive. The city streets were beginning to fill with traffic. Clarke fished for her iPod and headphones in her backpack, pulled them out, and plugged herself in. If she was going to suffer sixty days of Lexa, she was going to have seven final hours of peace.

 

Clarke had fallen asleep around six, and she had only woken up to go to the bathroom at the second rest-stop.

“Clarke is not a morning person,” she heard Octavia whisper to Lexa, probably trying to excuse Clarke’s rude behavior. Clarke still ignored all of them until they were fifteen minutes away from the beach house. Tall grasses began to line to road, and seagulls flew above them.

“Are we almost there?” Clarke asked. Her legs were cramped, her ass was numb, and she was more than happy to be out of the car.

“We’ll be at the boat pretty soon,” Bellamy answered, flicking his gaze to Clarke through the rearview mirror.

“Boat?” Lexa asked, turning from her spot on the other side of Monty to look at Octavia.

“Yeah, the house is on this little island. We own one of the three houses there.”

“Damn,” Jasper exhaled. “This is so exciting.”

“There aren’t any stores on the island, and getting the boat on a whim is a pain, so I hope you guys brought everything you need,” Bellamy said. “We had the caretaker make sure that the alcohol is stocked up, and we brought some in case we needed it.” With that, Bellamy turned off the main road and into a marina. He parked in the closest spot to the gangway, and Clarke saw a sign in front of the spot that read ‘Blake’. The spot next to it had the same sign, and that was where the caretaker parked the luggage car.

As soon as she could, Clarke jumped out of the SUV. She was beginning to feel suffocated, and Lexa’s presence only made it worse. The girl was absolutely perfect. Her smile, her laugh, her almost regal presence, it all reminded Clarke that she just _wasn’t good enough_. Thankfully, she didn’t have to be in close proximity to Lexa for a while.

The caretaker loaded all of their bags into the little motor boat at the end of the gangway, handed Bellamy the keys to the house, and then returned to the car. They all piled into the boat, squealing excitedly about their vacation and the boat ride. The driver started the engine, and they coasted off to sea. Clarke took a deep breath of salty air, thankful to be away from the confines of the city. Clarke liked space; space to run, space to breathe, just space. That’s why she found herself drawing landscapes of fields or forests, or beaches at sunset. She always liked the open.

“What’s first on the to-do list?” Raven asked, her brown eyes shining.

“A bonfire, of course,” Octavia said. “We’ll lay out beneath the stars and sing songs, eat s’mores. Monty, did you bring your guitar?”

“Of course I did,” Monty replied.

“I didn’t know you played,” Lexa said, running a hand through her natural waves. Clarke (totally) didn’t notice the way the girl’s thin arm flexed with the action.

“I don’t, really. Just for these guys,” Monty answered, a slight blush tingeing his cheeks.

“Well, then, I’m honored that I’ll be able to hear you play.” Lexa smiled. Clarke groaned internally.

Clarke watched the horizon, where she could see a patch of trees growing in size the closer they got to it. A large house sat on the edge of a cliff, and a dock extended out into the sea. The wall of the house that faced the beach was covered in windows, and each of the two stories had a balcony that stretched around the house, to where Clarke couldn’t see. The house’s light blue color stood out against the dark green of the lush palm trees that surrounded it.

“Here we are,” Bellamy said as they pulled up to the dock, “Blake’s Beach Resort and Spa.”

“This is sick, Bell,” Jasper gasped.

“Thanks.” Bellamy jumped off the boat and onto the dock as soon as they reached the side. As the driver tied the vessel to the dock, Bellamy helped all the girls off with a strong grip before enlisting Jasper and Monty to get the luggage. Raven and Octavia led the way up the path to the house, chattering away. Lexa hung back with Clarke, who was taking in her surroundings with awe etched on her face. Clarke looked anywhere but at Lexa, and when she finally glanced at the girl, she found soft green eyes, eyes that she had despised for the last four years of her life.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about the valedictorian thing. You definitely deserved to give that speech,” Lexa said. Clarke waited a beat, finding it really hard to hate Lexa in that moment.

Clarke nodded. “Thanks.” Her heart hurt saying the word. She was still bitter about Lexa being chosen, still angry that her friends had brought her enemy on their vacation, even if the girl was going to be so nice. Clarke straightened the backpack on her shoulders and picked up her pace.

They reached the back door of the house, and Bellamy tossed Octavia the keys. With a click, the door was unlocked and opened, and they raced inside. They were first greeted by a kitchen, all light wood and white ceramic countertops. The breakfast nook was positioned in front of the windows, where french doors opened onto the balcony.

“Bellamy and I have our rooms already, so the fight begins for you guys,” Octavia said with a sly grin.

“I call the biggest one!” Raven shouted before taking off. Lexa and Monty chased after her, with Jasper falling behind. Sighing, Clarke took a moment to catch her breath.

“Better hurry before they take the best room,” Bellamy mumbled, nudging Clarke with his elbow.

“I don’t care what the room is like, as long as it’s far away from _her_.”

“She’s really not that bad, Clarke,” Bellamy insisted. “I know you’ve always thought of her as a rival, but do you think she feels the same way about you?”

“I don’t really care, Bell,” Clarke sighed. Bellamy threw up his hands in defeat.

“Just try to get to know her. Please. It will make this vacation a little more bearable for both of you,” the boy said. He brushed his shaggy hair out of his eyes as he usually did, then turned and started rummaging through the cabinets. Clarke shifted her weight from foot to foot before deciding to pick her room. The expansive living room held a blue sofa, white plush chairs, and a flat screen. Floor to ceiling windows covered the wall that looked out to the sea. The stairs to the second floor were built from there, and Clarke could see all of the rooms from the entrance to the living room. She started up the stairs just as Raven was coming down the open hallway.

“I saved you a pretty big room. It has lots of windows, great lighting, all that stuff. For your art,” Raven called. “End of the hallway on the right.” Clarke nodded and followed Raven’s directions, finding a white door slightly ajar. Inside, a wooden bed covered in a gray duvet sat against a wall, and a wicker table and chair were set beside the great windows, overlooking the ocean. The room was otherwise bare, and Clarke found some comfort in this. It held a sense of calm, something that Clarke rarely found in life. With a deep breath, she set her backpack on the floor and fell, face first, into the bed. For a few minutes, she just lay there, as the setting sun warmed her back through the glass window. She could hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore. She was exactly where she wanted to be.

“Clarke!” Octavia called. “Put your bathing suit on! Its bonfire time!”

 

It was growing dark by the time Clarke, Raven, and Octavia dragged themselves out of the sea. The sun had officially gone below the green horizon, and deep orange sky hung above them. Lexa and the boys were sitting around a large fire they built on top of the sand, and Monty played his guitar freely. As she approached, Clarke heard Lexa singing to Monty’s tune, and she thought she had never heard a sound more beautiful.

“What’s for dinner, Bell?” Raven asked, searching for food.

“I made some sandwiches. They’re in the basket,” he answered, motioning to a large picnic basket. Jasper reached inside and pulled out sandwiches for everyone, along with bottles of beer. Clarke lay back on a towel with her head on Jasper’s leg, munching on her sandwich. She took a swig of beer once Lexa began singing again, trying to calm the strange feeling in her stomach.

“So, is this the part where we all share secrets?” Raven joked, and Octavia snorted.

“Only if you go first,” Bellamy said. “Tell us, who did you sleep with at the party the other night?” Raven’s cheeks turned pink, and she swatted at Bellamy.

“Why don’t you ask your sister? I saw her running off with Lincoln Holmes that night.”

“Raven!” Octavia screeched as a dark look passed over Bellamy’s gaze.

“I hooked up with Maya Vie,” Jasper said.

“Did not,” Clarke laughed. “I _did_ see Monty and Miller at some point. I think.” Monty tried to fight a smile, but failed. He stayed silent, though, as they all oohed at his crush.

“I didn’t know you were into Miller,” Lexa said. “He was in my AP chemistry class. He’s a nice guy.”

“He’s great,” Monty replied simply. Clarke smiled at the bashfulness of her friend. Sometimes, Monty was just so adorable.

“What about you, Lexa?” Octavia asked. “How was your party experience?”

“It was okay. Pretty sad, actually, saying goodbye to everyone, but otherwise, uneventful.”

“Really?” Jasper inquired. “No guys? No girls?” Lexa stiffened a bit, but shook her head.

“He’s just kidding. You don’t have to tell us,” Bellamy said. He stood and grunted, pulling a bag of marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate out of the basket. “Who’s ready for s’mores?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey loves--  
> to begin, I just want to say that I greatly appreciate you reading this.  
> Next, I'd like to tell you that the chapters are probably going to be a bit short. I know exactly where I'm going with story, but I don't know how long it's going to take to get there. I also don't have a lot of time, so I'm keeping it on the short side to be able to update at a good pace and to get this out of my head, because a lot of awesome ideas are just waiting to be written out. I'm sorry if it feels a bit rushed at times. I'll try to keep that at bay.
> 
> find me on tumblr -- @swanqueenafffff <3

They lasted two weeks before Clarke’s friends were picked off, one by one.

It started with Jasper and Monty. Monty had gotten a text that said that Miller needed some help with an undisclosed project, and he needed the boy to help him. Of course, Monty would oblige Miller, even if that meant dropping everything and leaving the vacation of a lifetime. And, wherever Monty was, Jasper was, too. He had an excuse, though, and it was a fairly good one.

“My parents are getting divorced,” he sighed. “I can’t believe it. I always knew that they fought, and I wanted them to break it off, but I never thought they’d have the courage to.”

Bellamy placed a hand on his back. “You need to go home, check in with your parents. It is totally all right if you leave.”

Jasper and Monty were gone within a day, and the house grew quieter. Unfortunately for Clarke, it was only the beginning.

The rest of them were sitting on the beach two days after Jasper and Monty left. Clarke, Raven, and Octavia had gone in the ocean, and Lexa was tanning her thin body in the sand. Clarke couldn’t help but let her gaze linger on the girl’s frame in her light pink bikini. After a while, they were all laying out in the sun, peaceful and content. Clarke had just begun to drift off when Raven’s phone rang, startling her awake. Raven snatched the device from the sand, slid her thumb across the screen, and held it up to her ear.

“Hello? Yes, this is Raven Reyes… Yes… Thank you so much,” she said excitedly, her voice rising with each word. She hung up, and the others looked at her, expecting an explanation. Raven only jumped up and started dancing. “I got the internship,” she cried in a singsong voice. “I’m going to work for NASA!”

“Hell yes, girl!” Octavia yelled, jumping up with her friend to dance along. Bellamy offered a high five and a huge smile.

“That’s amazing, Raven,” Lexa gasped.

“I’m so proud of you, Ray,” Clarke added. “When do you start?”

Raven stopped jumping, her face falling just a bit. “Monday.”

“That’s okay,” Octavia soothed, “you go. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.”

It was only Octavia, Bellamy, Clarke, and Lexa by the end of the third week at the beach house. Clarke was finding it harder and harder to avoid Lexa, so she did her best to steel herself. If it was only going to be the four of them for the rest of the summer, Lexa's presence wasn't going to ruin Clarke's mood.

But then came the day that ruined Clarke's hopes that the trip could be salvaged. Lexa and Octavia were standing in the kitchen chatting, and Clarke was sitting at the breakfast nook, watching the waves in the distance. A sketch pad was laid out before her, and a half finished landscape of the sea was drawn. Clarke's eyes flicked to the paper, but she found that her drawing didn't do the scene any justice, so she flipped the page and started again. Her mind was just starting to go blank, as it usually did when she was lost in her art, but Bellamy walked in with a worried look on his face. Clarke stood up and moved deeper into the kitchen as Bellamy sighed.

“I just got off the phone with mom,” he said to Octavia. “She says that grandma died last night.”

“What?” Octavia gasped. Tears sprung to her eyes, but she was visibly holding them back. Clarke grabbed Octavia's hand, and Lexa stroked the girl's back.

“The funeral is tomorrow. We have to leave here as soon as possible if we want to get back in time.” Bellamy's eyes fell for a moment before he straightened back up. “I’m really sorry, guys. You two can stay here once we leave.” He looked to Clarke, and then Lexa.

“Yeah, I'll stay if you want to,” Lexa said. Clarke’s heart pounded. She hated being put on the spot, especially when it came to big choices. The idea of staying in a house with her enemy wasn’t thrilling, but Clarke didn’t want to seem rude. She wasn’t about to ruin the girl’s summer, even though she would rather be alone than with Lexa.

“It’s not like I have anything else to do anyway,” Clarke muttered, shrugging.

“Great.” Bellamy’s voice was thick, but he did his best to put as much enthusiasm into it as he could. “I’ll leave you guys with the keys and show you how to get the boat and everything.” He went on to explain how the house ran and how to lock up before they left at the end of summer, stating that the caretaker would be there once they had gone. Lexa seemed to follow every word, but Clarke drifted away quickly. She ambled up the stairs, planning to put her bathing suit on for a dip in the ocean. Just as she passed Octavia’s closed door, she heard cries, and her heart broke. Clarke turned the handle on the door and pushed inside, finding her friend propped on the bed with a picture frame in her hand. Her black hair clung to her face, and green eyes were glassy with tears.

“Aw, O, come here,” Clarke said, sitting on the bed and pulling Octavia into an embrace. She took the picture from her hands, a family portrait with an older woman in the center, a bright smile on her face. They sat like that for a while, until Octavia’s sobs subsided. Clarke knew how it felt; her father had died only two years before, when she was sixteen. All she had wanted then was for someone to hold her for days. Instead, she had never been more alone, choosing to be away from anyone who had tried to help her. She insisted that she was strong enough to bear the pain alone, but inside she was weak. Darkness had overcome her, and she wasn’t the same as she had been before his death.

Octavia stood to pack her things, and with a small smile, Clarke let her be. She went to her room and changed into a blue bikini, one that matched her eyes perfectly. Grabbing a towel, she ran back down the stairs and outside with her drawing utensils, hoping to slip away unnoticed. Somehow, she succeeded. The wind hit her bare skin at the same time as the sun, causing a shiver to run down her back. Her feet sunk into the hot sand, and the soft feel was unbelievably soothing. She laid her towel out, close to the water, but far enough away that she could stay dry. Taking out a black pen, she began a simple sketch of the dock as it extended from the shore. Clarke took a deep breath. There was so much _space_ on the beach, room to run and jump and just breathe. She decided that monthly trips to the North Carolina shore were absolutely necessary for when she got to college.

Before long, Clarke found herself drifting off. It was a light sleep (thankfully she had put on very strong sunscreen), but it turned out to be extremely soothing. The sounds of the waves echoed throughout her mind, and images of delicate hands and brown hair played behind her eyelids.

“Clarke,” a smooth voice called. She opened an eye to find Lexa standing directly above her, looking down. Her hair was tame today, and it blew gently back in the wind. Clarke tried to keep the awe out of her gaze, but the glare from the sun, giving the girl an angelic quality, didn’t help very much. “Do you mind if I lay out with you?” Clarke could only manage a nod, and Lexa spread her towel out, just a little too close to Clarke. 

“Sure, why not?” Clarke mumbled, sarcasm dripping from her voice. Lexa didn’t notice. Clarke turned onto her stomach and closed her eyes once again. The calm she had earlier never returned, and she peeked a glance at Lexa. The girl was in a green bikini, her cutoff shorts still on. A thick book was open and on her lap. Clarke shook her head and closed her eyes, but she still couldn’t put her mind at ease. Something about Lexa affected her, and she wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or a bad way. 

“I think I’m going to go for a swim,” Clarke sighed, standing up. Lexa looked up from her reading for a moment, nodding. Clarke turned and trotted into the water. It was warm and refreshing, and she dove headfirst to where she could fully submerge herself. She stayed under the surface for a few seconds, relishing in the muted complacency of the underwater. A wave rolled over her head, and she popped back up as it passed. She swam around for a bit before turning back to the shore. Clarke thought she had seen Lexa gazing at her, an almost longing look in her eyes, but a smirk still on her face. She searched through her mind, finding that she had never seen Lexa go in the water. This intrigued her. Clarke slowly dragged herself out of the ocean, finding her limbs tired from swimming against the waves. Exhaling, she fell onto her towel and turned her head towards Lexa.

“How was the water?” the girl asked, her green eyes shining.

“Perfect.” Clarke took another breath. “Why don’t you ever go in?” Lexa’s eyes clouded, and she turned away, looking at something in the distance with great interest. No answer came. Clarke was about to push the thought out of her mind, forget about it and continue on trying to ignore Lexa, until—

“I don’t know how to swim.” The words were so quiet, but they rang through Clarke’s ears. She stifled a laugh, trying very hard not to embarrass Lexa, although she didn’t know why she cared.

“How do you not know how to swim?” Clarke asked incredulously.

“No one ever taught me,” Lexa replied. “I’ve never been to the beach, and it is pretty hard to find a pool in the city.”

“I see,” Clarke hummed. “Well, I’m sure you’ll be able to swim by the end of summer.” Clarke’s mind spun as she said the words. She couldn’t help herself; the girl was almost pitiful, and not being nice to her was nearly impossible.

“Oh yeah? And how do you suppose that?” Lexa’s smirk grew, and the odd flutter in Clarke’s stomach returned, accompanied by the sound of her heartbeat in her ears.

“Maybe I’ll teach you.” Lexa laughed, and it was light and free, and very endearing. “Hey, I said maybe. No guarantees.”

“Okay, Clarke.”

Clarke turned her face back to the sky. The sun was beginning to dip closer to the horizon, and she guessed it was five in the afternoon. She thought about Lexa, how she truly knew nothing about the girl, and for a fleeting moment wondered if she had misjudged her. _But I do know her_ , Clarke thought, _and I know that she stole valedictorian from me._ And, with that knowledge working its way back into her mind, the bitterness returned to her heart. It was smaller than before, but it was there. Lexa was just _better_. There was no denying that.

“So, where are _you_ going to college?” Clarke asked, venom dripping from her words. Lexa didn’t seem bothered by it. “Harvard, Princeton, or some other Ivy League?”

“Well, I got into Harvard, but I’m not going,” Lexa breathed.

“And why would that be?”

“I can’t afford it. I couldn’t get a scholarship to go, and they wouldn’t give me financial aid. I’m going to the University of North Carolina,” Lexa answered simply. Clarke’s heart beat faster at that, the idea of being in the same state, relatively close to the girl.

“Major?” Clarke asked.

“English.” A laugh rose up in Clarke’s throat. She had never pictured Lexa as an English major. She probably should have, seeing the thick book Lexa had been intently reading. “What about you? Where will you be spending the next few years?”

“Duke. I think I’m going to be a doctor, but I haven’t really decided. I wish I could do something with art, but my mom…” Clarke let her confession trail off. She had never told anyone, not even her closest friends, that her mother was truly the one pushing the medical degree. She was finding out quickly that her words flowed freely around Lexa, and she was unsettled by this. Standing up, she brushed some of the sand off of her legs and gathered her things. “I’m going to go inside.”

Lexa nodded. “What do you want for dinner? I’ll make something.”

“Whatever you want is fine.” With a small smirk, Clarke turned back to the cliff and started up the path. She was feeling things that were all too confusing, all too real. Clinging onto the hate was something she knew, something she was used to, but she was finding it harder and harder to do.

 

A hot shower and clean clothes were all Clarke needed to bring her back to her senses. She pulled her blonde hair into a messy bun and lined her blue eyes with minimal eyeliner. After, she picked up her phone and fell onto her bed. The screen was void of messages, except for one.

 **_Finn Collins:_ ** _Hey girl. Saw u at the party after graduation. Hit me up before summer ends._

Clarke groaned. Finn was one person she _definitely_ didn’t want to see again. Stuffing the phone into the back pocket of her jean shorts, Clarke left the confines of her room in search of food. She didn’t know if Lexa was a good cook, but she was hungry enough to eat anything that was set before her.

As soon as she entered the kitchen, a sweet smell hit her nose, and her tastebuds tingled. Lexa stood at the stove, stirring something in a pot. Clarke saw cheese and tomato sauce sitting on the counter.

“That smells awesome,” Clarke said, and Lexa turned. She seemed a bit startled, but she played it off with a shy smile.

“I hope you like Italian food. I found some chicken and pasta, so I made chicken parmesan.” Lexa returned to stirring before reaching for one of the bowls that sat next to the stove.

“Sounds great.” Clarke watched as Lexa scooped the spaghetti from the pot and into two bowls, adding a bit of grated cheese. Then, she opened the oven and pulled out a tray of breaded chicken breasts, already covered in sauce and cheese. She put one on a plate and handed it to Clarke with a  bowl of spaghetti, and did the same for herself. Lexa motioned to the breakfast nook, where the table had been set.

“Do you want something to drink?” Lexa asked, setting her plate and bowl across from Clarke and moving back to the kitchen. “I wasn’t sure what you like. The place is stocked with pretty much every type of alcohol you could think of.”

“Some red wine would be nice,” Clarke answered meekly. She shrunk into her chair, patiently waiting for Lexa to sit down before eating. As the brunette reached to a high shelf to get two wine glasses, Clarke did her best not to notice the tan skin that showed between her white, flowing top and black leggings. Clarke turned away quickly.

Lexa returned to the table and set Clarke’s glass in front of her, filling it nearly halfway with the red substance. She poured another one and sat down, and Clarke took a sip of her own drink. The taste wasn’t too bad, for red wine.

“This is oddly romantic,” Lexa joked, a slight blush covering her cheeks. The corner of Clarke’s mouth turned up. They sat in silence for a few moments, both cutting their chicken, eating, and taking polite sips of wine. “Tell me about yourself, Clarke. What was your greatest success of high school?”

“Surviving,” Clarke replied, inciting a laugh from across the table.

“I know exactly how you feel.”

“How could you?” Clarke asked “You were the perfect student.”

“I struggled more than you think.” Lexa’s face suddenly fell, and a pang resounded in Clarke’s heart. She hadn’t truly meant to upset Lexa, or had she? Once again, her feelings were unclear, and she retreated inside herself, remaining silent. After a few minutes, Lexa said quietly, “I’m not going to miss high school.”

Clarke nodded. “It’s full of bad memories I just want to leave behind.” She exhaled, a rush of thoughts hitting her at once. “I can’t believe I’m actually leaving. I’m going places. My dad always said that I would be great, that I would have it all figured out, but after he…” Lexa nodded knowingly, and Clarke continued, “I kind of lost hope in the idea that I would actually get my life together.” She swallowed thickly, and took another sip of wine to ease the pain that started growing in her heart. Her father always knew how to lift her spirits. Clarke missed him.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said. “I heard about it when it happened, but I didn’t know you very well. I should have said something.”

“Don’t. I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Oh.” 

More minutes of silence passed, and Clarke was nearly finished with her dinner. The food was excellent, cooked perfectly with just the right taste. Her glass was empty, and she was about to take her plate, when Lexa stopped her. She stared into Clarke’s eyes for a few moments, almost searching for something, then just shook her head and picked up their dishes. Clarke’s breath hitched as Lexa’s arm came in near contact with her own.

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” Clarke announced, walking towards the kitchen counter, making sure to stay far away from Lexa. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you clean up?”

“Positive.” Lexa’s back was still to Clarke, and Clarke hovered for another moment before leaving.

Her night was absolutely sleepless. If she wasn’t dreaming about her father, she was thinking about Lexa, her odd feelings. The girl was somehow growing on her, working her way into a heart that Clarke hadn’t voluntarily opened. By sunrise, Clarke decided she was going to steel herself. She wasn’t going to let Lexa in, even if she had to put up a fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, really short chapter. I'll try to make the next one longer, which means no update until the weekend probably.

Clarke was, most definitely, the weakest-willed person on the planet.

Each moment she spent with Lexa had her feeling more open and comfortable around the girl, so much so that she actively sought out ways to be by herself. If Lexa was on the beach, Clarke was in her room or the kitchen. If Lexa was lounging in the house, Clarke was exploring the jungle of palm trees outside. Clarke only let herself be around Lexa for meals, and that was when she felt her resolve weaken. She managed to last a week, until that day

That day changed everything. Or, perhaps it changed nothing; Clarke didn’t really know.

She planned to spend another day milling about, sketching and relaxing. It was nearly nine when she woke up, and she saw she had another text message from Finn. Clarke ignored it. She checked her pajamas in the mirror, and once she deemed herself fit to be seen by the world, she ambled down the stairs and into the kitchen. The house was quiet, and the kitchen was empty. Usually, Lexa was making coffee or eating cereal, but today, nothing. The room was eerily dark as well, as if something was looming. She glanced out the window, finding that the waves were sparkling with light, but the sky was nearly black.

Shrugging, Clarke moved to make toast for herself. She debated making some for Lexa, but decided against it. The girl was probably still sleeping, and if she wanted something for breakfast, she would have to make it herself. Clarke smiled at her success in keeping Lexa out of her graces. The toast was finished in the toaster, and Clarke spread butter on the two pieces, putting them on a plate and going into the living room. Just as she was setting her plate on the coffee table in front of the sofa, she heard thunder. A minute later, it was as though the sky had opened up completely. Rain pounded fiercely against the roof and the windows of the house.

Clarke was still standing in front of the sofa, staring outside the giant windows as if in a trance, when the front door opened. She startled and turned quickly, and her jaw dropped. Lexa squeezed through the door that she had barely opened in an attempt to keep the rain out of the house. Her hair was wet in its pony tail, the ends already curling violently, and her gray sports bra and black shorts were soaked and clinging to her body. Clarke’s mind raced as she stared at the lithe girl, finding her utterly _beautiful_. Her skin shimmered, and water droplets traced paths down her bare limbs, her taut stomach.

“You’re wet,” Clarke said, her gaze still awestruck. Lexa laughed and nodded.

“Yes, Clarke, it’s pouring outside.”

“I, uh… I guess we can’t go outside today.” Clarke mentally slapped herself. She couldn’t seem to form coherent thoughts, let alone sentences.

“No, I don’t think so,” Lexa replied with a smirk. “Why don’t we watch a movie?” Green eyes flicked to the coffee table, then back up to Clarke. “I’ll make you a better breakfast than toast.” Clarke could only shake her head in confirmation. A laugh came from Lexa once more, then her face fell as the two stood in thick silence. She averted her eyes quickly, moving to take the plate from the coffee table. “See if you can find a good movie to watch. I’ll put on dry clothes and then make something.”

“Sure.” Clarke didn’t move from her spot until Lexa had left the room. She let out a great exhale, trying to gather herself. Lexa affected her in ways she couldn’t deny, not now, and her fight was dwindling. There was a war between her head and her heart, past and present, judgement and truth.

Clarke wasn’t sure where to find the movies. She started by looking around in the living room, but couldn’t see any there. The next place she thought to look was Octavia’s room, so she trudged up the stairs and pushed the door open. Even with the girl’s absence, the room looked so alive. Her things were organized neatly, with pictures scattered on dressers and table. She saw a picture of their group, an old one from freshman year. Clarke picked it up, examining it. Her hair had been longer, Jasper’s too. Monty still had a baby face, and Octavia and Bellamy’s resemblance was more striking than current times. Raven, in an attempt to look tough, had an arm roughly around Bellamy’s neck and her face was straight. Monty and Jasper were holding Clarke by her arms, and Octavia was kneeling below. They looked happier than Clarke could remember.

The search for movies in Octavia’s room ended fruitlessly. With that, she had two options: the small closet at the end of the hall, or Bellamy’s room. She really didn’t want to see what obscure things he had living in his bedroom, so she checked the closet. Thankfully, the first thing that caught her eye was a clear plastic box full of movies. As she sifted through the movies, she heard movement behind her, but she kept her eyes down. A shift had occurred, and Clarke wasn’t sure if Lexa had sensed it.

After choosing two movies, Clarke went back downstairs. The smell of cooking wafted from the kitchen and into the living room. Clarke placed the movies on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, finding Lexa putting piles of scrambled eggs on two plates. Two bottles of water sat on the counter, and Clarke grabbed them, taking them back to the coffee table. Lexa silently followed with the breakfast.

“I found two movies that, I think, are quality. You can choose which one,” Clarke said with a grin. She handed Lexa the movies. One was _Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed_ , and the other was _Kangaroo Jack_.

“Scooby Doo is amazing. I vote for that one.” Lexa handed Clarke the box for _Kangaroo Jack_ and took the other one to the flat screen television. She loaded the movie into the DVD player and pressed play. Taking a seat on the sofa that was close enough that Clarke could feel the girl’s heat, Lexa picked up her plate and started eating her eggs. Clarke’s gaze lingered a bit, but then she did the same as the movie was starting.

They watched the movie in silence. Clarke felt as though the air between them was heavy. By the end of the movie, though, they were closer than how they had started. Clarke looked at Lexa, seeing her brown hair wild and untamed. It was extremely endearing, as was the way her navy tank top fit her just perfectly, the look on her face as Shaggy and Scooby did something funny during the movie. It was over too soon, though, as the final credits rolled. Lexa shifted away from Clarke just a bit, getting up to turn the movie off. She went to the windows and pulled back the drapes that they had closed.

“It’s still raining,” she sighed. Clarke looked into her green eyes, almost as stormy as the weather.

“We still have time for another movie,” Clarke offered. Lexa nodded, and Clarke went to switch out the movies. “Maybe, if you’re up for it, I can dig up a chick flick that we can watch with dinner later.”

Lexa flashed a small smile. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

 

Of course, two single girls can’t watch a chick flick without alcohol. This was the case with Clarke and Lexa. They had watched _Kangaroo Jack_ , Clarke had changed out of her pajamas (she felt more productive doing this, even though she had lounged all day), and Lexa made them ham and cheese sandwiches for dinner. While Lexa was in charge of food preparation, Clarke had control of the drinks. She made her specialty, vodka and orange juice, and was informed that Lexa had never tried it.

“Are you kidding me?” Clarke gasped.

“I don’t usually go to parties, Clarke,” Lexa answered, a smile pulling on her lips as she spread a thin layer of mayonnaise on a piece of bread. Clarke pretended not to notice how adorable Lexa was with a slight blush on her cheeks.

“I don’t either, but still. It’s a classic, Lexa,” Clarke chastised. “I saw you at the party after graduation, anyway, so don’t make false excuses.”

“That was a rare sighting, then. The last time I had gone to a high school party before that one was freshman year.”

“Well, you didn’t miss much,” Clarke mumbled. All of the parties that Raven or Octavia dragged her too always ended in tragedy for her; she tended to find herself alone, or hanging out with the wrong people. “The drinks are done. Try it.” Clarke handed the glass to Lexa, and she watched as the brunette took a small sip. A smile grew on Clarke’s lips as she waited for a reaction.

“This is much better then beer,” Lexa said, and Clarke laughed.

“Definitely. I’ll make more so we can take it into the living room with us.” Lexa nodded. She finished the sandwiches as Clarke made a small pitcher of the drink. Then, they filed back into the living room. Clarke had found _Mamma Mia_ in the box and decided that it was a suitable chick flick to watch. She settled comfortably on the sofa next to Lexa and took a sip of her drink. The usual buzz and warmth hit her ears immediately. She looked at Lexa and smiled as the girl turned her gaze from the television to Clarke’s eyes. With a small grin, Lexa’s eyes dropped for a moment, and then turned back to the movie. Clarke’s heart fell just slightly, and she took another sip of her drink.

By the time the movie was over, the pitcher barely had any liquid left in it. Clarke was laying back on the sofa, her legs draped over Lexa’s, and they were laughing over the ending of the movie.

“That was so cheesy,” Clarke giggled. “They all had an odd happy ending. When does that happen in real life?”

“Never, ever does it happen,” Lexa answered. “Happy endings are horrible, and they really don’t exist.”

“You are so right. No one even cares about romance or love, now. It’s all just sex and lies.”

“Tell me, Clarke. Who was the first person you had sex with that made you think so negatively?” Lexa asked, straightening up so she could look at Clarke seriously. Clarke became a bit rigid herself.

“I guess it’s secret sharing time now,” Clarke sighed. “Well, Finn Collins was my first.” Lexa wrinkled her nose, but stayed silent, allowing Clarke to continue. “We dated for a little during junior year. I knew he wasn’t a good guy, but it was after my dad… Anyway, I didn’t really care. I thought I could trust him, but once I told him I didn’t want to be with him, he told the whole school that I’m bisexual.”

“That is horrible. I understand your negativity completely now,” Lexa said quietly.

“It’s your turn, Lexa. Who was your first?”

“I, uh,” Lexa drawled, turning away from Clarke, pink rising on her cheeks. “I haven’t, ever.”

“Spill it,” Clarke commanded with a pointed look. She sensed there was more to the story.

“Do you remember Costia Daniels?” Lexa asked. Clarke’s brow furrowed, but she nodded. “I had known her for a little while, and in freshman year I had fallen in love with her. She had feelings for me, too. At least, I think she did. Anyway, we had only really been together for two months before her parents found out. They sent her to Jesus camp.”

“I heard about that,” Clarke added. “Someone said she was an addict or something.”

“Well, she wasn’t. After she got back from camp, I was hoping to talk to her again, hoping that things wouldn’t have changed. I tried calling her, but she never answered. I saw her at a coffeeshop one day, and she told me that she couldn’t be seen with me, that she didn’t have feelings for me. She said that—” Lexa swallowed visibly, “—she didn’t want my sins to cause another lapse in her judgement. Ever since then, I’ve been wary about my feelings towards girls.”

“Lexa, I’m so sorry. You definitely didn’t deserve that at all,” Clarke said, her face softening. “But, you’re going to be in college. You need to open up your heart, let girls in. Just like me. I hated you before this trip, but now I’m letting you in.” The words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“You hated me?” Lexa whispered.

“No, I didn’t, exactly. I just thought you were better at me, and I was envious. I wouldn’t call it hate. God, I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have told you that. I’m really sorr—” Her sentence was stopped short by lips rapidly meeting hers. The kiss was soft but full of emotion and strength. She put her hand on Lexa’s hip as the girl hovered over Clarke on the sofa.

“Is that opening my heart enough?” Lexa asked, a small smirk on her lips. Clarke nodded and laughed, her breaths short.

“I think so.” Clarke pulled Lexa back down, closing the small space between them, in a kiss that she wished could last forever.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super extra fluff and a terrible Finn. There's a lot of ambiguous mention of dark stuff, just as a warning. Also, I am so not ashamed to be using my favorite movies/books in this (although I really don't like Mamma Mia). I suggest reading The Price of Salt, aka Carol, because it is phenomenal. Thanks for reading, loves. :)

The distant lapping of waves on a shore filled Clarke’s ears, as the sound did every morning. She smiled, despite the slight ache in her head. It was distant and dull, but strong enough to make her cringe. As she tried to shift, she noticed the weight on top of her. She stopped.

Absolute terror coursed through her veins with the memories of the night before. They were hazy, but one very distinct fact was clear: Lexa had kissed her, and she had kissed Lexa back. Her heartbeat sped up, and this seemed to wake the sleeping girl on top of her. She tightened her already-closed eyes, as if that would make things better, and winced.

“Clarke.” The girl’s voice was hard, serious, and Clarke didn’t know what to make of it. “I know you’re awake, Clarke.”

“How much of last night do you remember?” Clarke asked. She hoped that Lexa would say none remained in her mind, but also wished that the girl remembered everything. Clarke wasn’t sure of the intimate details, and that was something that terrified her.

“Some of it,” Lexa exhaled. Clarke opened her eyes, finally taking in Lexa in all her glory. Despite their awkward night on the sofa, the girl looked flawless, with hair untamed and eyes shining. Her eyes flicked down, finding relief that their clothes were still on. “Do you think we…” She let her question trail off, and Clarke fought the urge to smirk at Lexa’s near bashfulness.

“No, I don’t think so.” Lexa’s face softened at the reassuring words. They sat there for moments, awkwardly pressed together. Lexa’s eyes dropped to Clarke’s mouth, and she seemed almost contemplative. Then, a worried look passed over her features, and she pulled back.

“I’ll just go, um, make coffee or something.”

“Okay.” Clarke nodded. An absence filled her heart as Lexa stood from the sofa. The girl groaned and rubbed her temples, then shook out her limbs and left. Only then did Clarke let herself breathe. She decided she needed a shower before anything else, so she pushed herself off the sofa. The coffee table was littered with glasses and plates and silverware, and she figured she would clean it up later. She headed up the stairs and to her room, turning the shower on in the bathroom. Her joints ached, and she was somehow still exhausted, so she grabbed her phone and laid down on the bed for a few minutes. More texts from Finn, and one from Raven, prompting Clarke to call the girl. She pressed Raven’s phone number on the contact screen and held it to her ear.

“ _Clarke!_ ” Raven shouted from the other end of the line. Clarke grimaced, the shrill tone unwelcome.

“Hi, Raven. What’s up?”

“ _I was just about to ask you the same thing,_ ” Raven said.

“Tell me about NASA. How is the internship?” Clarke asked. “Are you loving it?”

“ _Every second_ ,” the girl replied. “ _Yesterday, they let me…_ ” Raven ran on a tangent about something science-y, and Clarke got up to turn off the shower, zoning out. The conversation was going to be a long one. “ _He said that I’m brilliant._ Brilliant, _Clarke!_ ”

“That’s amazing, Ray. I’m so proud of you.”

“ _Enough about me. How is paradise with you crazy kids running it?_ ” Raven questioned, and Clarke could hear the smirk in the girl’s voice.

“Octavia and Bellamy aren’t here,” was the only thing Clarke could think to say.

“ _I know. O told me when they left. Are you enjoying Lexa’s company?_ ” Clarke’s heart beat faster at the sound of her name. She exhaled a shaky breath.

“I guess.”

“ _Clarke, I know something is up. Just tell me._ ” Clarke sighed and rubbed her fingers over her forehead.

“She kissed me.”

“ _Oh my god. No freaking way._ ” Raven’s voice was barely in control as she tried to contain her excitement. “ _Did you kiss her back? Wait, don’t tell me yet. Tell me the whole story._ ”

“Well, we were stuck in the house all day, and we were watching movies. We got drunk and were talking, and she opened up to me so much, Raven, and I did the same. And then it just sort of happened. I kissed her back, by the way. I just don’t know how much,” Clarke confessed.

“ _Do you feel bad about it?_ ”

“No, I don’t. I’m not sure how I feel. I think I’m happy, I just don’t want to scare her or push her away. She might have only kissed me because she was drunk.”

“ _I don’t think so, Clarke. I saw the way she looked at you while I was there. She was nothing but nice to you. She apparently trusted you, because, as you said, she opened up. I didn’t even know she was into girls,_ ” Raven said, her voice hopeful. “ _Are you going to give it a chance?_ ”

“If she feels the same way, then maybe,” Clarke answered honestly.

“ _I’m proud of you. Look at how far you’ve come in just four weeks. Enemies to potential lovers. This is the kind of shit that happens in fairytales, you know._ ”

“All right, Raven,” Clarke laughed.

“ _Now, get off the phone with me and go find your woman. I love you._ ” And with that, Raven hung up as abruptly as usual. Clarke tossed her phone on the bed and sighed, stepping into the bathroom for a shower.

She had no idea how things were going to go with Lexa. As far as Clarke remembered, it had been nothing more than an intense make out session. But, she suspected that Lexa didn’t do things without meaning. She didn’t know a lot about Lexa, of course, but that was her own fault. And, if things went the way Clarke hoped, she wanted to rectify that. All of the feelings that had confused her for weeks finally made themselves clear with the memories of the night before; she realized then that something about Lexa enticed her, and the girl was making her way into Clarke’s heart. She felt stupid, so stupid for thinking that Lexa was the enemy. If she had just once allowed herself to see the girl for who she was, maybe things could have been different for both of them. Maybe, high school could have been bearable, maybe Clarke wouldn’t have lost herself when her father died, maybe Lexa wouldn’t have felt so isolated by her sexuality. Heartbreak could have been spared, true feelings could have been harbored. But then, Clarke was happy. Everything had a time and place, and this trip was where destiny had brought them together.

Clarke shuddered as she stepped out of the shower, from anxiety or anticipation, or even the cold air, she didn’t know. She planned on laying out at the beach at some point, so she put on her black bathing suit and grabbed a towel. After taking a last look at herself in the mirror, she set out for the kitchen. She found Lexa standing at the counter, pouring coffee into mugs placed beside a stack of pancakes. Sighing quietly, Clarke’s gaze lingered.

“You’re amazing,” Clarke said, startling the brunette before her. “I really shouldn’t let you cook all the time. It’s not fair.” Lexa turned around, a hesitant look on her face. Clarke sent her an assuring gaze, and Lexa’s lips turned up in the hint of a smile, nodding.

“It’s really not a problem,” she answered quietly. They stood for a few moments, until Clarke stepped closer to Lexa. The girl shuddered visibly. Clarke bit back a smile, finding Lexa’s bashfulness as endearing as ever. Their gazes were locked as Clarke kept moving, reaching beside Lexa to take a pancake and her mug of coffee. Her movements were slow, feeling a rush as Lexa’s warmth radiated off of her and seeped into Clarke’s bones. Too soon, though, she moved away, turning to the windows and checking the waves. The sea was relatively calm. She decided that it was a perfect day for swimming.

“Go put on your bathing suit,” Clarke commanded, a light grin on her face as she turned to Lexa. The brunette’s brows were furrowed inquisitively. “I’m going to teach you how to swim today.”

“Really?” Lexa asked. Clarke’s heart raced at the way the girl’s eyes lit up.

“Really. Hurry, before the waves pick up.” With that, Lexa smiled and ran off towards her room. Clarke finished another pancake before returning to the closet that held the movies, finding some old swimming-aids. She knew that the ocean wasn’t the best place to learn to swim, so she hoped that the floating device would help keep Lexa stable in the water. She carried it down the stairs. Lexa was once again in the kitchen, sitting at the table in the breakfast nook. When she heard Clarke, she turned, an anxious smile on her face.

“Let’s go,” Lexa sighed, standing and going out the back door. Clarke followed, and they made their way to the beach. Dropping her towel and the swimming-aid, Clarke took two steps towards the water. She noticed that Lexa didn’t follow, and she turned to the girl, eyes softening.

“Hey,” Clarke soothed, walking to Lexa and grasping her forearm lightly. “Don’t be afraid, okay? We’ll take this slow. You’ll be safe.” Lexa breathed deeply, and then nodded. Clarke led Lexa to the edge of the water, and she waited for the girl to feel the cool surf on her ankles. Then, they edged further and further into the water, until they were waist deep. Clarke shivered from the chill, but Lexa’s skin burning beneath her hand kept her warm. “Okay, the first thing we’re gonna do is dive in. I’ll hold onto you the whole time.”

“Okay.” After a moment of hesitation, Lexa bent her knees, and Clarke urged her to continue. Eventually, Clarke dove forward, and Lexa followed suit. They stood up as quickly as they had dove in, and the smile on Lexa’s face was huge. “I can’t believe I did that!”

“It’s a good first step,” Clarke said, pride showing through her blue eyes. “Next, hold onto this floating thing, and we’ll just work on sitting out here and battling the waves.” She passed the swimming-aid to Lexa, making sure it was wrapped around the girl’s waist securely. She kept her hand laced with Lexa’s as they floated in the light waves.

“This is nice,” Lexa said softly as they drifted.

“It is. It’s really beautiful out here.” Just as Clarke said that, a strong wave hit them, the strongest they had felt all day. Lexa was shocked, and she lost her balance. Clarke was stunned for a second before she regained her balance, and she searched for Lexa, having lost contact with the girl’s hand. “Lexa!” she gasped, reaching out to the frantic brunette. Clarke grasped her hips and helped her regain her balance. Her hands were firm on Lexa’s soft hips and her breath hitched. “Lexa, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

“Clarke,” Lexa whimpered, her breathing unsteady. Their faces were close, and their bodies would have been touching if it weren’t for the swimming-aid. Clarke unfastened the device and closed the space between her and Lexa. Their lips met softly, and Lexa’s trembling ceased. Clarke was firm, Clarke was stable, and Lexa clung to her like it was all she could do.

“Come on,” Clarke whispered, pulling back and linking hands with Lexa, “let’s get out. You did great today.”

 

They laid on the beach, tangled together on Clarke’s towel. Clarke’s stomach fluttered, but in a good way. She loved the feel of Lexa’s smooth, tanned skin pressed against her.

“I’m never going to learn how to swim,” Lexa said, and Clarke immediately pulled the girl closer with an arm around her shoulder. She ran a hand over brown waves and looked into green eyes.

“Yes, you will. I won’t fail you, Lexa,” Clarke laughed.

“Can we talk about… this?” Lexa asked, and Clarke shifted back a bit. Her brow furrowed as she tried to gather her thoughts, but Lexa began to speak. “I know we haven’t truly known each other long, and I know you’re just starting to open up to being friends with me, so I don’t want to mess any of that up. I kissed you and you seemed okay with it, but if you don’t want to continue with this, I'm not expecting—”

“Lexa, I really don’t know exactly how I feel, but I know I feel something for you. I think it’s worth trying whatever we’ve started.” Clarke’s insides felt as though they had melted, but she didn’t let it show. Instead, she pulled Lexa tighter to her as the girl nodded.

“This is really weird, isn’t it?” Lexa asked, and Clarke looked inquisitively, bidding her to explain. “I mean, I haven’t really dated anyone, but this doesn’t seem the way to start something.”

“Trust me, of all the people I’ve dated, this is the most normal and most comfortable way to start _anything_ ,” Clarke assured.

“How is that?”

“Well, most guys that I’ve been with started with bad pick up lines. And, none of them had really talked to me about my feelings beforehand, or treated me with as much respect as you have.” Lexa smiled, but shook her head.

“Would you tell me how many?” Lexa inquired.

“Guys?” The brunette nodded. “Four, officially, including Finn. And one girl.”

“You’re that open about being bisexual?”

“You really love your questions, don’t you?” Clarke chuckled. “I’m not really open. I mean, the group knows, and I guess everyone that Finn told knows. It was at summer camp after sophomore year. She was one of my closest friends, and she told me she liked girls, too. We were just kind of trying things out, and we had ended it by the time school started.”

“You have an interesting track record, Clarke Griffin,” Lexa stated, shifting so that she could wrap an arm around the blonde’s waist. “What do you want for dinner?”

Clarke was tempted to reply _‘you’_ , but she thought better of it. “Do you think we can get Chinese delivered on the boat?”

“I doubt it.” Clarke pouted, and Lexa smiled, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Maybe we can go to the mainland later in the week and get Chinese. But, for now, does chicken soup sound good?”

“Only if it comes with alcohol,” Clarke answered.

“Are you going to try and get me drunk again?” Lexa quipped.

“Maybe.” A smirk grew on Clarke’s face, and she untangled herself from her companion. Standing up, she reached a hand to the brunette. “I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted. Would it be so terrible if I took a nap?”

“You should. We were up fairly late last night, and we’re on vacation. We need to rest as much as we can before school starts.”

Clarke nodded as they walked into the kitchen. “Do you want to sleep with me?” she asked, and the words didn’t process until Lexa’s eyes widened, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “I mean, like, actual sleeping, not… you know.” Lexa laughed and pulled on Clarke’s hand, swiping her book off of the counter as they made their way to the living room. She gestured for Clarke to lay on the couch.

“How about you sleep while I read?” Lexa offered, and Clarke nodded, stifling a yawn. The blonde laid on the sofa, and Lexa covered her with a blanket. Clarke snuggled in, feeling chills run down her bare back. Bikinis were only comfortable in the sun, anyway. Shutting her eyes, she placed her head on Lexa’s lap, who had settled right next to her. A soft hand was sitting on her head, and Clarke smiled. She tried to sleep, but so many thoughts were going through her head that she couldn’t drift off.

“Lexa?”

“Yes, Clarke?”

“What book are you reading?” Clarke asked.

“ _The Price of Salt_ ,” Lexa replied, holding the book before Clarke’s now open eyes. “It’s about a girl who falls in love with an older woman, almost at first sight, in the nineteen fifties. It’s riveting.”

“That sounds fascinating,” Clarke said. She nuzzled in closer to Lexa and closed her eyes.

“When did you know that you liked girls?” Lexa asked suddenly. Clarke opened her eyes again, seeing green ones hesitant. A slight blush formed on the girl’s cheeks. Clarke’s heart felt like it was going to burst at the sight.

“I’m not really sure,” Clarke sighed. “I guess I’d had crushes on girls before, but I didn’t know that was really how I felt. Until, one day, it made sense that the feelings I had for another girl weren’t just friendly.” Lexa only nodded, and returned to her reading.

 

Clarke wasn’t certain of how long she had slept, but when she woke up, warm breath was on her ear.

“Clarke, wake up. It’s almost time for dinner.” Lexa’s lips brushed the outside of Clarke’s ear and cheek, and she shivered. Opening her eyes, she found the girl staring intently at her. “I want you to change out of your bathing suit before we eat.”

“Okay,” Clarke answered, stretching out and standing up slowly. She turned to the windows, finding that a beautiful orange sunset was painted across the sky. “I’ll be right down.” She worked her way up the stairs and to her room. Not bothering to check her phone, she turned on the hot water in the shower, stripped, and got in. Her shower was quick, only to rinse the feeling of salt from her body. When she got out, the bathroom was steamy. She wiped the mirror down, applied eyeliner and mascara, pulled two strands of hair from the front of her face and secured them with a tie at the back of her head, and went to find clothes. She wanted to look casual, but still cute, with a suttle beach vibe. Clarke was sure that she had put more thought into her clothing that night than she had ever before.

Choosing light-wash shorts and a flowing, coral tank, Clarke grabbed her phone before heading down the stairs. There wasn’t anyone she wanted to talk to more than Lexa, but she was sure that Raven or Octavia had tried to contact her, and they would be upset if she didn’t answer.

“The soup is almost ready,” Lexa said, seeing Clarke walk into the kitchen. The blonde stood against the counter next to Lexa, watching as she cooked and checking her phone. She had a text from Octavia, cheery as ever even in her time of grief:

**_Octavia Blake:_ ** _hey love! I heard the good news, call me as soon as you can (but not while you’re with Lexa ;) )_

Clarke sent her a short reply promising to call the girl the next day. She opened her texts from Finn, finding that he had sent her a message not two minutes prior.

**_Finn Collins:_ ** _Hey, why haven’t u called me? I really wanna see you_

**_Finn Collins:_ ** _I know ur probably mad at me, but I wanna make things up to u_

**_Finn Collins:_ ** _I'm two years too late, I know, but I promise u it’ll b worth it ;)_

Clarke sighed and decided to ignore his messages. A second after she locked her phone, though, it buzzed.

**_Finn Collins:_ ** _Why aren’t u answering me?_

Then:

**_Finn Collins:_ ** _I know ur reading these._

Her heart stopped. _Shit_ , she thought. She’d had her read receipts turned on, and she had forgotten.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, waving her hand in front of the phone screen. The blonde looked up, pulled back to the real world by enchanting green eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Let’s eat.” Clarke sent Finn a curt text, simply saying ‘ _later_ ’, before putting the phone in her back pocket. She followed Lexa to the table in the breakfast nook, where the brunette poured chicken soup into two bowls. She placed the pot back onto the stove and grabbed a bottle of white wine from the counter, filling Clarke’s glass and then her own.

“This is a quality wine,” Lexa said, taking a seat across from Clarke.

“You’re quite the connoisseur, aren’t you?” Clarke laughed.

“My aunt Indra used to own an Italian restaurant that we lived above. We were always stocked with the best wines. Indra used to make me take inventory,” Lexa explained, her eyes growing distant with memories.

“Is that where you learned to cook?” the blonde asked.

Lexa nodded. “My uncle Nyko was the chef, and he taught me. That was before they got divorced.”

“What about your parents?”

“That’s another story for another day. All I’ll tell you is that they’re not around.” Lexa shrugged, and Clarke, feeling awkward, started on her soup. The broth was thick and rich, not too salty, and had just the right amount of noodles, chicken, and vegetables.

“This is amazing,” Clarke said, suppressing a moan of delight.

“Thanks.”

Clarke was halfway through he soup and her second glass of wine when her phone began buzzing with more texts. They were one after the other, and she couldn’t stand it. She took her phone out of her pocket and placed it on the table, hoping that it would stop bothering her. Only, it didn’t, because the screen was right in front of her. Finn had left her five messages. After a glance, she scoffed, and Lexa gave her an inquisitive look. Clarke only shook her head.

Then her phone started to buzz with a call.

Clarke sighed as Finn’s name was plastered on the screen. Lexa had seen the name, Clarke was sure, but the brunette didn’t say anything, only stiffened.

“I can’t believe him,” Clarke muttered. “I’m sorry, but I have to talk to him or he won’t stop.” Lexa nodded, and Clarke stood. She answered the call, holding the phone to her ear. “Hello?” she snapped.

“ _Clarke, please, listen to me. I don’t know why you haven’t been answering me, but I don’t like it._ ” Clarke’s eyes flicked to Lexa’s, finding only concern. She moved outside and started walking to the beach. Her heartbeat seemed to pick up with her growing anger, and she needed space to scream if she had to. Clarke’s stomach churned with anxiety, and she felt like her chest couldn’t hold any breath.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Finn,” Clarke bit out around clenched teeth. “We ended two years ago. I’ve moved on already.”

“ _Think about it, Clarke. I’ll probably never see you again, unless you see me before you leave. Don’t you wanna see how things will work out, now that we’re older and wiser?_ ” 

“What you did to me was absolutely unacceptable. I don’t know how you could expect me to want to be with you after that.” Clarke’s tone was hard.

“ _Just come over one night. You’ll see what you’ve been missing all these years,_ ” Finn said, his voice dropping in a disgusting way. Clarke’s face crinkled.

“You just want to have sex? That’s why you’ve been bothering me like this? Really, Finn, you’re pathetic.”

“ _I am not,_ ” Finn whined. “ _You just need to have a good time, and you’ll loosen up._ ”

“Get over yourself. I’m not even in the city. Leave me alone, please.” Clarke growled, then hung up.

She fell to the sand, curling in on herself. Her knees were tucked to her chest and she buried her face in her arms. A few tears slipped from her eyes, but she kept most of them back. It wasn’t that Clarke was expecting Finn to have become a better person, because she wasn’t. Finn was never going to change, he was always going to be an asshole. But, Finn’s sudden appearance in her life only brought back bad memories, the memories of darkness without her father. She felt used, just as she had nearly two years before; as if she had no value. Of course, Finn’s views of her were irrelevant. But, the situation still stung.

“Hey.” Lexa’s soft voice came from behind her as the girl sat next to Clarke in the sand. Her military green v-neck complemented her eyes, even in the dark of the night. She handed Clarke a glass and placed a hand around her shoulders tentatively. Clarke took a sip from the glass, finding that it was more of the deliciously smooth wine. “Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke stared at the sea, taking another long sip of her wine.

“He wanted to fuck me, and that’s why he wouldn’t leave me alone. He just wanted to use me, Lexa. And, it shouldn’t hurt me, but it does.”

“I understand, Clarke. No one wants to feel like they’re only wanted for sex, even if the person making them feel that way is a notorious asshole,” Lexa said. Clarke smiled a little, then sighed.

“I want to say that I can’t believe I dated him, but I can believe it.” Clarke turned to look into Lexa’s green eyes. “I was in such a bad place, Lexa. It was like I was in a haze, and I couldn’t see anything. It was all dark. I didn’t want to breathe anymore, I _couldn’t_ breathe. Everything was numb and I just, I couldn’t handle it all, and I started doing things to myself that were horrible.” A tear slipped out of her eye, and Lexa reached her face to carefully wipe it away. “I needed to feel something, and I knew he would make me feel, so I clung to him.”

“It’s okay, you’re okay now. It isn’t dark anymore. I’m here,” Lexa soothed, wrapping her arms around Clarke. Clarke buried her face in the crook of Lexa’s chest. “I’m so sorry, babe, I’m so sorry you had to feel that way.” After a moment, Clarke began to giggle. “What?”

“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” Clarke asked.

“I thought it would sound cute,” Lexa answered, defending herself. “It didn’t work well, did it?”

“No, it really didn’t.” Clarke shifted in Lexa’s arms so she could swing a leg over her lap, straddling her. She placed her wine on the sand, forgotten, and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders. “It’s okay, though, because I still think you’re adorable.”

“You thought I was adorable before?”

“Of course,” Clarke answered against Lexa’s lips.

Somewhere between hot kisses and wandering hands, Lexa and Clarke made it inside before they could fall asleep together in the sand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (spoilers)
> 
> In light of recent events, (ahem, episode 3x07) I'm not sure what's going to happen. I've not felt up to writing about Lexa since, so the end of this chapter is really half-assed. I'm going to do my best to push past the pain and write this for you all. I'm sorry if updates are infrequent. My heart hurts, as I'm sure all of yours do as well. She will live forever in our minds, hearts, and through every candle that burns brightly. We will keep her alive. Please don't give up on The 100, or Lexa, Clexa, the fandom, or me. I hope to see you all on the other side of this heartbreak (and also with Fear the Walking Dead). 
> 
> To Lexa:  
> yu gonplei ste odon, ai hodnes.
> 
>  
> 
> (also, I didn't edit this chapter before posting, I just couldn't bear it. Sorry if it sucks.)

“ _Anyway, how are things on love island?_ ” Octavia asked, and Clarke could hear the excitement through the phone, painting a picture of Octavia, smiling, in her mind.

“Shut up, Octavia. Things are fine.”

“ _Are you two in love yet?_ ” the girl quipped, almost serious.

“No, we’re still trying this out. I just… I feel so comfortable with her. It’s so hard to describe, but I could be content just being near her all the time. She’s really amazing, O,” Clarke confessed.

“ _Wow_ ,” Octavia sighed. “ _Just, please, don’t have sex on my couch. Or in my kitchen, or on my bed. That would be appreciated._ ”

Clarke laughed. “No promises.”

“ _Clarke!_ ” Octavia whined, and Clarke laughed even more.

“Hey, do you have a surfboard?”

“ _Yeah, it should be in the garage next to the kitchen._ ”

“I’ve never seen the garage,” Clarke commented.

“ _It’s pretty hidden by foliage. We have three boards, so take your pick. How are the waves today?_ ”

“They’re all right. Perfect for a beginner.”

“ _Well,_ ” Octavia sighed, “ _have fun at my beach house._ ”

Clarke put on her light blue bikini and bounded down the stairs. She followed Octavia’s direction to the garage, finding that it did, in fact, exist. Wrenching the door open, she saw it; the most magnificent, light aqua longboard that seemed to be nine feet in height. It was simply crafted, with one fin on the bottom. Clarke held her breath as she picked it up from where it was leaning on the wall. It was light for its size, and suddenly she was carrying it, racing to the beach as fast as she could. She was more than thankful that the board had already been waxed, and she secured the leash around her ankle, running into the water. Clarke was barely calf-deep before she threw the board onto the water and pushed herself on top. The waves were small but breaking beneath her, so she used the strength in her arms to paddle away from the shore.

She reached a spot that was comfortable, and Clarke let herself lay on the board, waves lapping on the rails and beneath the concave of the nose. Turning her head, she spotted a wave coming towards her. Her heart started to race, and she paddled quickly, but with smooth strokes. She felt the back of the board catch, being taken under by the wave, and she took her chance to stand up. Her feet were a bit unsteady, but she managed it, and a smile grew wide on her face. Arms extended for balance, she rode the wave until it calmly deposited her on the shore.

The sound of clapping reached Clarke’s ears, and she looked towards the house to find Lexa, back from her morning run, grinning as she cheered for the blonde. Clarke just shot Lexa her proud smile and pulled the board up the beach and unstrapped the leash. By then, Lexa was on the shore, and Clarke met her.

“I didn’t know you could surf,” Lexa said, impressed.

“I’m not very good. I learned a while ago, and I guess it stuck.” Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist and pulled her in tight. She could feel every part of the girl in her black sports bra and green running shorts, but she still felt as though they were too far apart. She squeezed Lexa’s waist with her arms just slightly.

“You’re wet,” Lexa commented, biting her lip to suppress a smile. Clarke couldn’t deny the warm feeling that met the base of her stomach.

“And you’re sweaty,” Clarke replied. Lexa kissed the grin off of her face, leaving Clarke breathless as her soft hands trailed down the blonde’s back.

“I have some exciting news,” Lexa whispered, pulling away. “I met our neighbors while I was on my run. They’re really cool, a bunch of college kids, and they’re having a party tonight. We’re invited.”

“That sounds awesome,” Clarke said, and Lexa kissed her cheek.

“I ran into this girl Anya, like I almost ran into her, literally. She owns the house, or really her parents do. Either way, she and her boyfriend are here for the summer, and they have a bunch of friends staying over. Apparently some are boating to the island just for the party,” Lexa rambled. Clarke smiled, loving every word the brunette was saying.

“I’m totally up for this party.” Clarke gave Lexa a chaste kiss before pulling away. “Do you want to continue swimming lessons today?”

“I think I’d rather watch you surf,” Lexa answered, and Clarke couldn’t help the grin and the blush that rose on her face. Lexa plopped into the sand, and Clarke grabbed the surfboard before heading into the water once again.

 

“I need to go shopping before I leave for school. Maybe, once we get back, you, Octavia, Raven and I can go to the mall.” Clarke pulled a pair of dark, ripped jean shorts and a simple white top our of her suitcase. The shirt had the words ‘My Basic Tee’ printed on it, and it was her favorite. She pulled off the loose shirt that she had worn over her bathing suit, hearing nor response from the girl occupying the edge of her bed. She went to release the tie on her bikini, when she looked to her companion. “Lexa,” she called. “Lexa.”

“What?” Lexa asked, pulled out of a daze.

“You’re staring.”

“Sorry,” Lexa answered, a blush spreading on her face. Clarke stepped into the bathroom, leaving the door open just a bit so that she could continue talking to Lexa. 

“I’m so ready to leave the city,” Clarke continued as she changed into her outfit for the party. “Everything is so close together, and there isn’t enough space for anything.”

“I don’t have a problem with it, but it will be nice to have a slower lifestyle in North Carolina,” Lexa added. They had barely talked about college since the first time Clarke asked, both too wary of the beginnings of their relationship to ask the question they wanted the answer to: what would happen once they left the island? Clarke’s feelings for the girl were genuine, and she was worried that, without the close proximity of living in the same house, they would grow apart.

“Are you staying in the dorms at UNC?” Clarke asked, venturing into unspoken fears.

Lexa paused for a moment. “I think so.”

“I’ll be at the Duke dorms, too.”

“The campuses are only fifteen minutes away,” Lexa said softly. Clarke opened the door more, peering out at the brunette. She hadn’t put her top on yet, and Lexa glanced down before meeting Clarke’s eyes. Words were passed between green and blue, but not a sound was made. Clarke’s lips turned into a small smile.

“Fifteen minutes isn’t long,” Clarke said. She returned to the bathroom and finished her eyeliner, adding shadow and mascara, applied light pink lip gloss, and put her shirt on. “All right, I’m ready.” Clarke left the bathroom and walked to the edge of the bed, holding her hands out and pulling Lexa from the mattress. The girl was in shorts and a deep blue tank top, the color of Clarke’s eyes.

“You look amazing,” Lexa whispered, kissing Clarke’s cheek. Clarke blushed, and Lexa only kissed her cheek again before pulling her down the stairs and out the front door.

They walked through the lush, tropical forest on a path lined in seashells. Palm trees surrounded them, casting a green-orange glow around them in the growing dusk.

“Is the whole island just a series of trails?” Clarke asked. Her heart soared at the feeling of Lexa’s hand firmly laced with her own.

“Basically,” Lexa answered, “because there aren’t any cars, and only three houses. It’s good for scenic running.”

“It must be nice.”

“You should come running with me one morning,” Lexa offered, and Clarke grimaced. Clarke was fairly athletic, but she didn’t particularly enjoy running or working out.

“Maybe,” she mused. Lexa nudged her hip with her elbow.

“I’m sure you’d love it. Running in the morning helps me feel good for the rest of the day.”

“Fine, I’ll go with you one morning to see,” Clarke conceded.

They were nearing what looked to be the front of a house, although Clarke could barely tell through the foliage. The front wall of the house was a peachy color, and it had a white door. White flowers were planted in pots all around the front stoop, and paper lanterns lit a path around the side of the house. Lexa and Clarke followed the illuminated path down a slope to where the path to the beach began. The set up was nearly identical to the Blake beach house, only decorated differently. Sounds of loud voices and music blaring almost drowned out the waves as the two girls reached the sand. A little more than twenty college-age kids milled around the shore, some laughing, some dancing, people were even standing in the water. A beach ball was being passed around, and speakers were set up around the beach.

“Lexa!” a voice slurred from behind them. They turned, and a girl sauntered over to them. Her dirty blonde hair hung in a messy bun, and her cheekbones looked as though they were sharp enough to cut through anything.

“Hey, Anya,” Lexa said, an easy smile gracing her lips. “Clarke, this is Anya.”

“Is this your girlfriend?” Anya asked, her eyes not-so-suddenly flicking to their joined hands. Lexa opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

“Yeah,” Clarke answered for her, “I’m Clarke.” She noticed the way Lexa’s eyes widened slightly, but the girl smiled still.

“Cute.” Anya turned away, distracted, but then reentered the conversation, taking a sip of something from a red cup. “Food and drinks are up on the deck.” Clarke nodded, and Anya pranced off.

“She’s interesting,” Clarke offered, and Lexa laughed.

“Very,” the girl agreed.

“Do you want me to get you a drink?” Lexa nodded. “What do you want?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Lexa replied, squeezing Clarke’s hand before letting go. Clarke walked off across the sand and to the house, but not before noticing a pair of eyes staring at the brunette she had just walked away from. She shook her head of its paranoia and continued to where Anya said the drinks were. A buff, shirtless guy stood at the grill with a beer in his hand, and two short girls were at his side. The scent of greasy burgers hit Clarke, and her mouth watered. But, after eating Lexa’s food for four and a half weeks, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to eat anything but what the girl made her.

She found some tequila mix and poured two cups. Turning, she spotted Lexa on the beach, engrossed in a conversation with the girl that Clarke had passed on the way to the deck. The strange girl was leaning in close to Lexa, and Clarke felt a grip on her heart tighten. Clarke stomped down the deck and trudged back to the beach, her mind whirling.

“Hey,” Clarke said quietly to Lexa, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing the her cheek. She could feel the stranger’s glare on them, but Clarke didn’t care. The girl tossed her dyed red hair over her shoulder and huffed.

“Clarke, this is Tiffany.” Clarke nodded to the redhead, and the girl returned the gesture but continued to scowl.

“Who are you?” Tiffany asked, sounding almost annoyed.

“I’m Clarke. Lexa’s girlfriend.” She could feel Lexa tense against her, her heart rate speeding up, but then relaxed. Lexa was obviously fighting to keep the grin from her face.

“Oh. Well, I’m going to get some food.” Tiffany strutted away, and Clarke turned to Lexa.

“She was obnoxious.”

“You were so jealous,” Lexa laughed, and Clarke glared.

“I was not _jealous_ , Lexa,” Clarke scoffed, but she couldn’t keep the smile from her face.

“Clarke, I have seen you jealous before.”

“When?” the blonde asked, pinning Lexa with a questioning look.

“Graduation day,” Lexa answered simply. Clarke didn’t have the strength to deny accusations anymore, so she just turned her back to Lexa, her face heating up. Within moments, she felt thin arms circling her hips. Lexa’s head rested in the crook of her neck. “It’s okay that you’re jealous. I know it’s in your nature.”

“It is not—” Clarke started, trying to turn around in the girl’s arms. Lexa only held her firmly in place, pressing her chest into Clarke’s back and cutting her off.

“It so is, Clarke. And, anyway, I think it’s kind of cute.” Lexa kissed Clarke’s cheek. “You don’t have to worry, though. Now that I’m your girlfriend, there’s no reason for you to be jealous.”

Clarke turned around, keeping Lexa’s arms around her but pulling back to look into green eyes. All she found was certainty and adoration. “So you’re okay with it?”

“Of course I’m okay with it.”

“I’m glad,” Clarke breathed. “I was just worried that it was too soon, and I didn’t know if you were comfortable with labels yet.”

“It feels right,” Lexa said simply. Clarke nodded, taking in the beauty of the girl that stood before her, her _girlfriend_. Her heart soared, and it felt strange that Clarke was already so attached. Every soft edge, every curve of lips and cheeks, every part of Lexa was etched into Clarke’s mind, and she wanted to keep the image there forever.

Lexa’s warm hand pressed firmly to her cheek, and Clarke closed her eyes, leaning into it. “Lexa,” was all she could manage to say. The brunette ran her thumb over Clarke’s cheek before she kissed her, softly and surely. She could taste the emotion pouring from Lexa, she could feel her strong body anchored to the ground.

“Let’s have some fun, Clarke.”

 

Clarke had never thought it possible to wake up peacefully before nine o’clock. But, the morning after Anya’s party, she arose at seven with a sweet smile on her face. Lexa lay in front of her, a large blue t-shirt and spandex on. Her side rose and fell with every breath, and Clarke was content to only watch. She shifted closer to the girl, kissing her shoulder lightly where the wide neck of the shirt exposed her skin.

“Clarke?” Lexa groaned, her voice gravelly.

“Hey, Lexa,” Clarke whispered. “You should go back to sleep.” Lexa turned over in the bed with slow movements.

“I have such a headache, I don’t think I could.” Lexa squinted, her eyes adjusting to the light streaming in through Clarke’s windows. “I don’t remember anything.”

“That’s because you drank too much,” Clarke laughed. Lexa’s eyes scanned Clarke, softening when she found that the girl had fuzzy pajama pants on. The pants were imprinted with smiling suns and frowning clouds. “We didn’t do anything, if you’re wondering.”

Lexa nodded. “Okay.” Clarke’s eyes fell for a moment, and Lexa moved closer. “Not that I wouldn’t want to or anything, it’s just that I haven’t—”

“I understand, Lexa. I’d want you to be in a state where you could actually remember it, anyway.”

“Did I really have that much?” Lexa cringed.

“Yes, and I tried to get you to stop, but to no avail,” Clarke laughed once again, and Lexa poked her. “We stayed at the party until twelve, and by then you were already falling over. I figured I should take you home before you could have another drink. You wouldn’t let me leave your side, though, so I let you sleep in here.”

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Lexa said quietly. She pressed a kiss to Clarke’s lips and tightened a hand on her hip.

“Anything for you,” Clarke whispered. She pulled away and got out of bed, stretching. She reveled in the way Lexa whimpered, and she turned back to the girl in her bed. “The waves are calm this morning. Today, you’re going to learn how to swim before noon.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me long to update. I'm extremely stressed out right now.  
> This chapter gives me such feels, I hope I wrote it well enough.  
> I haven't edited it, so I might go back and do that.  
> Also, there's some heavy stuff in the beginning of this. If it bothers you, skip past it please.

They took a break from alcohol for a few days, and Clarke was glad. She loved the taste of it, the feeling she got when she drank it, but she knew drinking in excess wasn’t good. Even measly glasses of wine were toxic after a while, and she wanted to clear out her system. Not to mention that sober, domestic days with Lexa, nights without a haze of alcohol over them, were some of the greatest moments she had experienced in her life.

Lexa had told Clarke more than she had told anyone else. Her parents had run off when Lexa was eight, leaving her with her aunt and uncle. They hadn’t tried to contact her, only left her with some money and her own name. Of course, Lexa’s loving aunt Indra and uncle Gustus cared for her, loved her, babied her, but they had struggled with their restaurant. They had made some of the best food in the city, but over time they lost business and had to shut down. Gustus got a small job working in another restaurant, and Indra had become a babysitter. Lexa worked, as well, between basketball and tennis seasons. She told Clarke more about Costia, about how she felt uncomfortable just being around girls because she worried they would be repulsed by her. Lexa kept her secret well within her, only confiding in a distant cousin that had stayed with them for a few months.

Lexa kept herself sane, though. She poured her troubles into sports, always stayed focused in school. Her goal was to get into a good college where she could major in English and become a writer or a teacher. She wanted to give others the chance to gain knowledge, she wanted them to find solace in her learning. She wanted to be a leader. Clarke was sure that Lexa was the strongest person she knew.

In turn, Clarke told Lexa about her past. She explained how high school had started off well, that she was extremely dedicated all her life. Clarke’s mother was a renowned surgeon, and she hoped for Clarke to be a doctor as well. As much as the blonde loved _Grey’s Anatomy_ , she wasn’t sure surgery was her passion. Her father had encouraged her to further her studies in art, so she turned to it when she was feeling sad or stressed or inspired. She knew she didn’t want to be an artist full time, but if she had the chance to make masterpieces and still have a job that made her happy, she would take it.

The death of Clarke’s father was what broke her. She was fine, until the end of August. Clarke still couldn’t divulge the details to Lexa yet; it was so painful that she had to be in the right state of mind to even think about it. But, Clarke let Lexa in and told the girl of her life in the aftermath. She had fallen to a dark place, and for weeks she was lost. She couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, and she couldn’t sleep at night. It was as though she had lost her mind, and she had completely shut down. Her limbs were numb, her mind was numb, and her heart ached. After a while, Clarke had told Lexa, she couldn’t take the numbness, so she forced herself to feel _something_ , something painful, yet something real.

She was left with scars that would forever remind her of what she had lost.

Lexa’s lips trailed over the ridges Clarke had made, the ones that proved how broken Clarke truly was. Lexa’s lips traced every scar that marred Clarke’s skin and promised to hold her together, promised to keep her from breaking ever again.

And in those few days, Lexa and Clarke were inseparable. Lexa was able to coerce Clarke into going on a morning run, even though Clarke nearly died every time. It wasn’t that Clarke was not athletic, it was just that she absolutely despised running. Still, she went with Lexa to amuse her. Clarke taught Lexa to swim, and she was getting better. Lexa was determined to be able to swim on her own by the end of summer; Clarke wasn’t so sure. They watched movies together and ate dinner together. They chased each other on the beach and took walks through the forest. Lexa had spotted a bench somewhere in the foliage, hidden from the main path. She prepared a picnic lunch for them one day, and they spent the afternoon laughing and exploring. Clarke had put her head on Lexa’s lap, and Lexa read until the blonde had fallen asleep.

They had only eight days left when Clarke woke up one morning, hearing Lexa leave her room from down the hall. She grumbled, as she knew that Lexa would want to run with her, but dutifully, she pulled herself out of bed. Finding a random pair of shorts and a t-shirt, she dressed, washed her face, and pulled her hair into a casual pony tail. Clarke slipped her running shoes on and left her room, heading towards the stairs to meet Lexa in the kitchen. She was still very much asleep, but she was sure that once she had a bit of coffee in her, she would feel better about running.

The kitchen was empty when she reached it, but she found a mug of coffee waiting for her. Beneath the coffee was a note written in beautifully loopy scrawl. Clarke picked up the note and read it.

_Good morning. I have a surprise for you, come to the beach when you find this._

_-Lexa_

Clarke was perplexed, and she glanced to the windows, seeing a figure just on the edge of the water. Slowly, the figure dove into the water, brown curls flying.

“Oh my god,” Clarke whispered, “shit.” She slammed her mug on the counter and flew out the door of the kitchen. Her mind was racing as she sprinted down the path to the beach. The sand couldn’t slow her down as she made her way to the water. Lexa was nowhere in sight. “Lexa!” she yelled, charging into the surf, violent that morning. She saw a flicker of movement ten feet from where she stood, moving away with the current. Clarke followed what she thought was Lexa, feeling the strong current pull her further into the water. She struggled to catch up with Lexa, but she finally did, finding the girl limp. The waves crashed around them, and Clarke herself could barely fight the movement. They were being dragged further down the beach, and Clarke knew that she had to get them out of the water. She pulled Lexa above the waves, but she couldn’t keep her there for long with each swell that rose around them.

A large wave was coming their way, and Clarke knew that she could only use it to her advantage instead of trying to fight it. As the water was being sucked away from the shore, Clarke began paddling and kicking with the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Lexa, finding a rhythm. Lexa stirred beside her, doing her best to kick and flail, but she was too weak. When the wave came, Clarke tried to keep her body still. She let the wave carry them towards the beach, swirling them around. Clarke didn’t move. When she felt the sand beneath her knees, she hurried to pull them out of the water before they could be brought back into the surf. The sky had gone dark, and the waves were an ominous green color, signaling how bad the day was. Wind whipped her wet hair into her eyes, and her clothes stuck to her. Clarke pulled Lexa up the beach and closer to the house, and then she collapsed beside the girl.

“Clarke,” Lexa croaked, then she coughed. She heaved for a few minutes, and then it seemed that she passed out.

“No, no, please, Lexa, don’t do this,” Clarke cried. Fear struck her heart, intense and paralyzing, and she had no idea what to do. She sprinted up the beach and to the house, thankfully finding Lexa’s phone on the counter. Clarke dialed 9-1-1 and told them what happened, and they said they would send a boat to take Lexa to the hospital. After she hung up, she pulled a blanket from the sofa and took it to where Lexa was on the beach. She wrapped the girl in the blanket and held her.

Clarke felt stupid, so stupid, that she couldn’t help Lexa herself. She couldn’t believe that she had let that happen. It was as though every person Clarke touched, anyone she let into her heart, was doomed to befall some sort of ugly fate. Her father first, and now Lexa. She didn’t know how long she could go on like this, hurting the people that cared about her.

The white ambulance boat pulled up to the dock, and three men jumped off with a platform to carry Lexa. They picked her up and carried her, running steadily to the boat.

“There isn’t room for you on the boat,” one of the medics said to Clarke, “but you can meet us at the hospital.” Clarke nodded, in a daze, and she watched as they secured Lexa on the boat and sped off.

 

Anya and her boyfriend had rented a boat for the summer, and they kept it secured to their dock. Clarke had showered and changed as quickly as she could, then found a pair of sweats and a t-shirt for Lexa, before running to the neighbor’s house. She had asked Anya for a ride to the shore, and the girl had obliged, worry painting her features. Clarke was silent the whole time, even when Anya walked her to the hospital just outside of the beach town. It had started to rain just as they arrived, but Clarke didn’t notice the cool drops beginning to trail down her forehead.

“Hey,” Anya had said, “do you want me to stay with you?”

“No, I’ll be okay.” Anya nodded and took Clarke’s hand in hers, squeezing it gently. When she was gone, Clarke went to the desk. “What room is Lexa Woods in?”

“She should be in room two-twelve. Are you family?” the woman at the desk asked. Her grey eyes scrunched up, scrutinizing Clarke.

“No, I’m, um, not family.”

“Well, then, you can’t see her until four this afternoon,” the woman simply replied.

“But she doesn’t have family here,” Clarke argued, her voice growing more frantic. “We’re on vacation on the island, and I need to be there for her.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you see her now if you’re not family. The doctors are taking good care of her, and she needs to rest. Come back and check on her at four.” The woman then turned away, and Clarke huffed. She was restless, and she knew she couldn’t sit in a hospital. The last time she had waited outside of a hospital room was when her father died. Too many memories came rushing back too quickly, and she knew she needed to leave. The room felt cramped.

Clarke rushed outside, finding relief in the cool rain. She didn’t want to let her clothes be soaked in the water (again), but she needed to be brought from her thoughts. After a few seconds, she dashed under an awning and pulled her phone from her pocket. The time was twelve thirty, and she had three and a half hours before she could see Lexa. With that thought, her stomach rumbled, so she pocketed her phone and went back to the town. It was cute and quaint, with little yellow buildings holding boutiques and cafés. She found a shop that hailed all day breakfast and sat at a table placed on the sidewalk. A waitress handed her a menu, and Clarke looked over it. She couldn’t focus on anything as she scanned the meals. The waitress came back, and Clarke ordered a glass of water and french toast, barely hearing the sound of her own voice. When the woman walked away, she took out her phone and called Raven.

“ _Hey, Clarke, what’s up?_ ” The girl sounded a little distracted, and Clarke’s heart fell.

“Are you busy? If I’m bothering you, I’ll let you go.”

“ _What? No, sorry, I was just finishing a repair job on this pressure regulator. I’m free to listen now. What’s wrong? You sound upset._ ”

Raven always knew how to read her so well. “Lexa’s in the hospital.”

“ _Oh my god, Clarke, what happened? Is she okay?_ ” Raven gasped.

“I don’t know, they won’t let me see her. I’ve been teaching her how to swim, and this morning I guess she decided to swim by herself. The tide was so strong, she just couldn’t handle it.”

“ _That’s so horrible,_ ” Raven whispered. “ _I’m sure she’ll be fine, Clarke, really. If you got to her in time, then she’ll be fine. That’s just so scary._ ”

“It was terrifying. I thought she was going to drown. She just wanted to impress me, show me that I was teaching her well…”

“ _Clarke, don’t do this. Don’t blame this on yourself, because it isn’t your fault. The ocean is unpredictable, even I struggle with swimming in it sometimes. It could have happened to anyone._ ”

Clarke sighed. “But it happened to _her._ ”

“ _All you can do now is wait it out and be there for her when you can. I have to go, keep me updated, though._ ”

“I will,” Clarke answered, and she hung up the phone.

Her breakfast came soon after, and she finished it slowly. Rain lightly pattered on the awning above her, but it stopped soon after she began eating. It was nearly one thirty by the time she was done, so she paid and left. There wasn’t much else for her to do while she waited besides shop. Clarke entered a boutique near the restaurant where she was eating, and she browsed around. Nothing really caught her eye, but it was probably because she couldn’t focus on much. The next few stores she stopped at held the same thing. There was a cute boutique where Clarke found nice tops, and she bought a few for herself. She found a bracelet that she thought would look perfect on Lexa, so she bought that, too.

Somehow, Clarke felt lighter inside, although she felt a little shallow. She shouldn’t have been indulging herself while Lexa was hurting. Clarke should have been in the hospital, letting guilt eat her insides. She didn’t deserve to feel good. As soon as Clarke slipped into that mindset, she shut it down. There was nothing wrong with therapy shopping, and Lexa wouldn’t have wanted her breaking apart. Clarke wasn’t going to break, not this time.

Shoe shopping helped a little as well, and she bought a cute pair of tall, nude wedges. Adding a pair of jean shorts to her haul, Clarke checked the time. It was three fifty. Her heart raced, and she knew she needed to be back at the hospital the minute it became four o’clock. She rushed back to the hospital, and thankfully it was close to the last store she had stopped in. The hour had just changed when she walked through the doors of the hospital. The woman she had encountered earlier was still seated at the counter, and Clarke walked up to her, shopping bags in tow.

“May I see her now?” Clarke asked eagerly. The woman behind the desk nodded, a sigh escaping her lips.

“Yes. Room two-twelve.” Clarke nearly sprinted down the hall and to the elevator. It felt like ages before the door opened for her to enter the metal box, and another millennia until she was stepping into the hallway. Signs pointed her in the direction of Lexa’s room. Soon, she was standing outside the girl’s room. Clarke took a moment to bring her thoughts under control. She had spent more time than she would have liked in hospitals, watching her mother work or waiting for news on her father. Her surroundings made her uncomfortable. She should have been calm, but her heart raced at the idea of seeing Lexa.

With another breath, she moved toward the door and turned the handle. Clarke stepped inside the small room and found Lexa laying on the narrow hospital bed. The brunette looked up, and a smile grew on her face.

“I’ve been waiting all day for you. Thank god you’re here, this room is so boring.” Lexa’s voice was light and strong, so different from the way she sounded after Clarke pulled her out of the waves.

“They wouldn’t let me in here until four,” Clarke explained. “I tried to get here as soon as they would let me.” She stayed a good distance away from the bed, her free arm tight around her. The discomfort of the hospital and the guilt coursing through her head made her want to fold into herself.

“They should be bringing me dinner soon, and then I think they’ll let me go,” Lexa said. Her eyes softened at the sight of Clarke. “Would you sit with me?” Clarke nodded, slowly moving to the chair beside the bed. Lexa shifted over and patted the space beside her, so Clarke put her shopping bags on the chair and climbed onto the cot beside Lexa, keeping a fair distance. Green eyes searched Clarke’s face, empty, and Lexa moved her hand to Clarke’s on the bed.

“I’m so sorry, Lexa.”

“It’s not your fault,” Lexa laughed lightly. “I just wanted to surprise you. I thought I was doing so well with swimming.”

“You were. The waves were too violent today, even I could barely swim,” Clarke explained.

“You saved me.” Clarke nodded, not meeting Lexa’s gaze. The brunette shifted up and placed a soft kiss to Clarke’s jaw. “I’m okay, Clarke. Everything is fine now, and in an hour we can go home and enjoy the rest of the evening. I had a whole plan for the day, but most of it was ruined. I can still salvage it.”

Clarke finally turned to look at her. “A plan?” Lexa smiled shyly, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

“I like to make plans,” Lexa said quietly. “I like to make things special. And my plan for today is still a secret, so I’m not talking about it.”

A laugh finally escaped Clarke’s lips, clipped and wary, but still a laugh. She kissed Lexa, leaned into her, held onto her for strength, even though Lexa should have been the one to need it. Lexa’s hand ghosted over Clarke’s arm, from her shoulder to her side, finally resting on her hip. Clarke shivered as Lexa pulled her closer, closing the distance Clarke had left. A knock at the door pulled their lips apart, breaths beginning to quicken. Clarke turned just slightly, her face still close to Lexa’s, to see a male nurse enter with a tray in his hands.

“I’m assuming this is the girlfriend,” he chuckled upon noticing the two girls. Clarke blushed and settled back on the hospital pillows, though she still stayed close to Lexa. She reveled in the feeling of Lexa’s hand still holding possessively to her hip.

“Dan, this is Clarke.” Dan smiled. His hair was dark and his eyes light, and fashionable stubble covered his chin and neck. He was young, most likely fresh out of college.

“Nice to meet you, Clarke,” Dan said, nodding. “All right, Lexa, I have some lovely macaroni and cheese for you, with not-so-great looking broccoli.”

“Awesome,” Lexa sighed. Dan pulled a table top from the side of the bed and placed the tray on it. “Share this with me?” she asked, looking at Clarke. The blonde nodded.

“I have an extra fork,” Dan supplied, placing two forks before the girls. A pitcher of water and a cup sat on the table beside Clarke, so she poured Lexa and herself a glass.

“Thanks, Dan,” Lexa called, and he nodded.

“Nice meeting you,” Clarke said. With a smile, he left. “He’s a nice guy.”

“Yeah, he kept me company during the day.” Lexa took a bite of the mac and cheese and cringed. “This is nasty.”

“It looks horrible, but you should eat it. You need some strength after this morning.”

Lexa scoffed. “I don’t. I’m fine.” She glanced to the chair that contained Clarke’s bags. “Did you go shopping?”

“Yes,” Clarke replied meekly. “It’s kind of shallow, I know, but I had nothing to do and therapy shopping really helps when you’re stressed and feeling guilty. I even got you something.” Lexa giggled as Clarke reached for the bag with Lexa’s gift. She opened the box containing it to reveal a little gold chain with seven small circles and one large circle. Lexa’s eyes widened, and a small gasp escaped her lips.

“That’s beautiful, Clarke, thank you so much.” Lexa captured Clarke’s lips in a long kiss before pulling back and wrapping the bracelet around her own wrist. Fastening the clasp, Clarke smiled and pressed a kiss to Lexa’s hand.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.”

 

It was another hour before they had completely discharged Lexa from the hospital. Thankfully, they hadn’t had to call Lexa’s aunt or uncle, because both girls were eighteen. Lexa had no desire to tell Indra of the accident. She was as restless to leave the hospital as Clarke was, but they kept each other calm. Lexa changed into the sweatpants and t-shirt that Clarke had brought, and then they made their way to the boat that was waiting to take them back to the island. Clarke’s hand never left Lexa’s grasp.

Clarke sighed as they entered the house. The day was exhausting, but she couldn’t have felt more awake. “So, what is this plan you had constructed?”

“I was going to make you a nice dinner,” Lexa answered, “but there’s no point in doing that now.” She found a bottle of red wine that was sitting on the counter and filled two glasses, handing one to Clarke. “Just forget about it.”

Clarke wanted to press more, but she didn’t. Instead, she took a sip of her wine, watching Lexa do the same. “I guess this breaks our alcohol fast.”

“We deserve it.”

“I was so scared, Lexa,” Clarke whispered.

“I am so sorry I did that to you.” Lexa’s eyes grew watery, and Clarke placed her hand above Lexa’s. She kissed Lexa softly, trying to keep the girl from crying. She never wanted to see Lexa cry.

“Come on.” Clarke intertwined her fingers with Lexa’s and pulled her away from the kitchen, to the living room. “You should sleep.”

“I’ve been sleeping and resting all day, I’m not tired at all,” Lexa protested as they climbed the stairs. “If anyone should rest, its you.”

Clarke paused on the top step and looked down into Lexa’s eyes. They gave Clarke a silent plea, but for what, she didn’t know. Quietly, she said, “I’m not tired, either.”

Lexa ascended the last step and pulled Clarke with her. She guided Clarke to Lexa’s room, surely taking the girl inside and closing the door. Clarke looked at Lexa, perplexed, but Lexa only kissed her, hard, and her momentum brought them crashing into the door. Clarke was stunned, only for a moment though as she kissed Lexa back, running her tongue across Lexa’s lip. The kiss deepened, and Clarke let herself get lost in the taste and the warmth of Lexa.

Lexa’s hands were cold against Clarke’s heated skin. They traveled under the hem of Clarke’s t-shirt, moving over her hips and around to her back. Clarke’s hand caught in Lexa’s waves, and she pulled her closer. A gasp escaped Clarke’s lips when delicate fingers trailed over her ribs and just under her bra. Her leg moved between Lexa’s, inciting a quiet moan. Clarke pulled back so she could look into Lexa’s green eyes.

“Do you want to do this?” she asked.

Lexa nodded. “Yes.”

Slowly, Clarke trailed her hands down Lexa’s shoulders and arms, to her sides and hips, and she grasped the hem of her shirt. She pulled it off as Lexa lifted her arms, never breaking eye contact. Clarke’s hands trailed down Lexa’s strong stomach and around to her back, to the clasp of the girl’s bra. Lexa’s eyes closed, and she bit her lip, giving Clarke an almost imperceptible nod. In a smooth motion, Lexa’s bra was unclasped and off of her, and Clarke took in the sight. Lexa was _beautiful_ in every sense of the word. All her slight curves and sharp hips, golden skin and thin shoulders made Clarke melt inside.

Clarke reached a hand to Lexa’s cheek and ran her thumb over her lips, pulling the skin from between Lexa’s teeth. She placed a soft kiss to Lexa’s lips, and Lexa melded to her. Her hands resumed their position beneath Clarke’s shirt, fingers splaying over her ribs. Clarke pulled her own shirt off, and Lexa moved quickly to take off the black bra that she found below it. Her eyes traveled over Clarke before she put her hands on Clarke’s chest, running thumbs over taught nipples. Clarke groaned, and she pulled Lexa’s hips to her with her hands firmly on the girl’s ass. Lexa’s lips placed hot kisses on Clarke’s neck, down to her chest, biting and sucking. The brunette’s sweatpants were discarded, as were Clarke’s shorts and underwear.

“Lexa,” Clarke panted, pulling Lexa’s head away from her ministrations, “let’s not have sex against this door, perhaps?”

“Good idea,” Lexa breathed. She took Clarke’s hand and led them to the bed, and Clarke allowed herself to look at Lexa. In the orange light of the sunset seeping through the windows, the girl looked majestic, and Clarke could hardly believe that she was sitting on the edge of the bed, _waiting_ for Clarke. Her eyes were almost nervous, but her movements were not.

Clarke laid Lexa against the mattress and moved over top of her, a thigh between the girl’s legs. Lexa sucked in a breath and her hips jerked up. A small smile reached Clarke’s lips. Clarke ran her hands over Lexa’s toned body, following each touch with her lips. “You are so beautiful,” she murmured between each kiss. Her tongue and fingers found two pink nipples, and Lexa arched her back. Clarke could tell that she was holding everything inside. So, she didn’t waste time in pulling Lexa’s pink underwear down and kissing a trail from her ribs to her hips. The girl below her squirmed and panted. Clarke placed one last kiss just above Lexa’s center and moved to up to see Lexa’s face. She cupped Lexa, pressed her thumb into her clit, and slowly entered a finger inside her. 

“ _Clarke_ ,” Lexa hissed, her hips moving of their own accord against Clarke’s still hand.

“Is this okay?” Clarke asked softly. She watched Lexa nod violently, her eyes nearly black. 

“Yeah, yes, it’s—” she was cut off by Clarke pumping slowly, a moan escaping from full, pink lips. Clarke settled into a steady rhythm before she added a second finger. Lexa’s moans were louder and fuller, and her eyes were shut tight. She was close, Clarke could tell, so she picked up her pace and curved her fingers, kissed her way down Lexa’s neck and marked her.

Before she knew what Lexa was doing, the girl snaked her hand down to Clarke’s center and pushed against her. Clarke gasped and her hips rocked, and Lexa opened her eyes to look at Clarke, who was taken by surprise. She nodded, and Clarke continued to pump inside Lexa and move her hips against the girl’s hand. Lexa used her other hand to pull Clarke’s lips to her own, sucking her bottom lip and biting down as she grew closer.

“It’s okay, Lexa. Let go,” Clarke whispered, and with a few more pumps of Clarke’s hand, Lexa was over the edge, gasping Clarke’s name. She slipped a finger in Clarke suddenly, and it wasn’t long before Clarke was coming, too. Clarke fell beside Lexa on the bed, wrapping her arms around her. She kissed Lexa’s forehead. “Are you all right?” she asked.

“I’m more than all right, Clarke.” Lexa exhaled, her breath tickling Clarke’s chest.

“Good.” Clarke waited a few moments, looking over Lexa’s shoulder. Silence surrounded them, and she thought about what she wanted to say to Lexa. She wanted to tell Lexa that was the best she’d ever felt, that she couldn’t have been more happy laying with her. She wanted to let Lexa know that she trusted her with everything, as Lexa trusted Clarke. So, she did.

“My dad was an engineer for a manufacturing company that he had started with his friend Marcus Kane. Marcus was in charge of the business end, and my dad was in charge of the heavy-duty stuff, like designing and building. They made parts for cars, new technology, that kind of stuff.” Clarke took a breath. “He was working on new robotics for cars to make them safer, to be able to communicate with other cars to lessen to risk of an accident. He was trying to help people. The test runs went perfectly, and there were no errors by the time he had installed it into a few cars permanently. He and some of the other engineers tested it, and the machine glitched,” Clarke explained. She had to close her eyes. “The cars all collided, and his was in the center. The other engineers made it out okay, but… He was put on life support for a few weeks, but he would have never recovered.”

“Oh, Clarke, I’m so sorry.” Lexa stroked Clarke’s hair before cupping her cheek. She wiped at a stray tear that had fallen. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because, you trusted me with something special, so I’m trusting you with this.”

“Thank you,” Lexa whispered. Her lips met Clarke’s tenderly, and Clarke let out a shaky breath through her nose. “Let’s not think about sad things anymore.” Clarke nodded as Lexa kissed her way to Clarke’s neck. Clarke sighed loudly when Lexa moved to be on top of the blonde, moving lower and lower down her body.

They didn’t sleep until the very first light of dawn.


End file.
